The Beauty of Divine Rage
Sometimes Screaming is How We Heal our Souls
While the Lions Gate portal opened in July, today, 8/8, it is at its strongest, so it is an incredible day for healing, connecting, manifesting, and doing service for others. This year, the date is even more significant (2+0+2+4), adding a layer of, dare I say, magic to a day that is already so significant.
While I’ve recognized the Lions Gate for years, this is the first year I’ve done more than a slight meditation and a nod to the universe. Perhaps it’s my spiritual awakening, or perhaps it’s that I feel as if my life has been tumbling in a faulty dryer since the fall. I claim self-love. I claim reciprocal romantic love. I claim always giving without wanting to get. I claim fierce leadership and abundance in business — but led from the heart. I claim to let go and find new beginnings.
In order to claim, however, I needed to make space. You cannot manifest anything that the universe might see being shoved into an overstocked junk drawer. There are many ways to clear space. You can do chakra work, as I have been doing to open my heart. You can ask the angels, if that’s your thing, to rid the muck so you can listen deeply to receive new messages. You can also embrace divine rage.
On a day like today, or any day really, you will experience the most balance in work and love and life if you remain high-vibrational. The higher our vibration, the more connected we are to “source.” High vibrational does not mean happy. It means elevated, your higher self, an aware level of consciousness. For me, as a spiritualist, “source” includes most non-human elements of the universe: Mother Earth, God, the archangels, the angels, ancestors, spirit guides, divine masters, ascended teachers, and high-vibrational white light beings close to the veil, such as good friends who have passed.
A lot of people say you need to be upbeat to raise your vibration. Dancing, singing, jumping jacks, singing bowls, the dopamine of cuddling your animal, the peace of holding your child in safety. Sure. However, not all high vibrations come from extraordinarily happy activities. If you are sad, a guttural releasing cry becomes a clearing. If you are angry, you want to bring your energy lower and calm so peace can set in and raise the vibration (meditation and breathwork always, always, always work). Or, in my case, as I prepared last night for today’s multi-checklist of candle ritual and flower offerings and gifting and manifestations, I chose to scream.
A practice called divine rage is so incredibly powerful. If you scream at someone to cause hurt or out of fear, you are lowering a vibration. But if you purposely scream to release what holds you back at the most possible human level, it can bring you up so high that very few earthly matters can touch you. Pure divine rage requires some divination or necromancy and communication with “source,” often a form of prayer. It also requires raw, unfiltered honesty with yourself about the things you need to let go of to move forward. For anyone who has done the 12 steps, this is not a scary practice. For others, it might be, but in the end, magic is where action meets intention, and the universe knows what we are trying to do. Nothing is wrong as long as we are honest and as selfless as possible.
In preparing for my divine rage last night, I closed myself off in my writer’s room, snuggled into my fuzzy chair and held a pillow, connected to “source,” summoned my spiritual team, and focused on talking out everything that has ever made me feel small — from now back to the time that I actually was small.
Talking turned to crying, which turned to yelling, which turned to sobbing, and finally, shouting.
My childhood.
My lack of family.
My friends that I have hurt.
My alcoholism.
My heartbreaks.
My professional losses.
My physical form.
My age.
My never having children.
My lack of formal education.
My friends who have become fleeting.
My failing to support friends who needed me.
My still head-spinning move to Connecticut.
I went into painstaking detail on everything I could think of in each area that had made me feel small. “And that time I met that guy at the bar and said this mean thing,” I sobbed. To, “And when I told my friend she was weak for wanting to get married, and now I feel cursed to be alone.”
By the end of my listing, which if I had written instead of spoken could’ve filled a three-ring notebook, I was almost laughing at how banal some of the things that impacted my self-esteem were; but they were no less serious.
Then it was time to scream. In not wanting to alarm my neighbors nor scare my cats, I took a deep breath, pressed the lap pillow to my face, and screamed as loud as I could. I did this over and over again and lost count after 20, as tears soaked the pillow during my screams. I screamed out my childhood. I screamed out my hurts and the hurts I’d caused. I screamed out my heartbreaks. I screamed out my disease. I screamed out my rejections and losses. I screamed out my confusion about where life is heading. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed. I screamed until only a whimper and a squeak were left, eyes bloodshot, lips dry, and throat raw.
Then I was still, and so was the air.
I released myself into the quiet, into the calm. I felt the gentle brush of “source” almost as an atta girl. I lost 100 pounds of bullshit in the healthiest way, unburdened by my insecurities, if only for a short time to leave space for what the universe wanted to deliver to me. I felt confidence fill my solar plexus where anxiety used to sit. The cavernous feeling in my heart chakra was no longer one of emptiness but of hungry light. I knew I had to get up the next morning and ground outside in earth, but aside from that, I felt more whole. I felt high. I felt ready.
Happy Lions Gate day, to all who recognize it. No matter what or how you choose to clear, give, and manifest today, I wish for you what is best. And, if you practice divine rage, I send you energy for your screams.
And so it shall be, and so it is.
