Lesbians are NOT Toys

I realize that this particular title may have caught you by surprise for a few reasons. One reasons is that I do not associate myself with the pronouns she/her so by definition I am not a lesbian myself. Another reason for your bewilderment may stem from the lack of male voices that speak to certain notions within the overall context of patriarchal terrorism. (Oooh look, I used a brainiac term). In a nutshell patriarchal terrorism is any time that violence is towards women exclusively as a means to have control. I have seen for myself times in which lesbians or even the notion of lesbianism being present send men to a sort of heightened sexualized frenzy.

So what brought me to this realization…finally?

I had the pleasure of being on a panel during Oklahoma City’s Urban Pride weekend (hats off to the organizers for having something more to serve the LGBTQ community with than beer and glitter). During the panel someone asked a question about what would be the one thing they would like to see first. There was a brief pause which was broken by an energy that I will always remember. This mocha colored woman responded with such passion and intensity around the action of “LEAVE LESBIANS ALONE!”…WOW. For a moment I was totally aloof because I personally have never had a lesbian fetish or fantasy and I love women (yes, for real). Even during the “dark years” of being cheated on by a former lover of learning how she would have relationships with women, I never excited me. However, I begin to think about the many barbershop conversations, parked car kickbacks and other moments where lesbians were the topic of a male dominated dialogue. And all of a sudden, it was clear.

What’s clear?

What I see now is that I can see how lesbians are not left alone and could be the subject of so much negative male attention. I say negative because once you bruise a man’s ego by turning down the very thing that he places such much significance on through his life to the point is identifies with his penis, trouble tends to ensue. It’s also clear that I need to do a better part of being a voice for lesbians regardless if they are in earshot of certain comments or not. I would say this it is hypocritical of me to “feel some kind of way” about the idea that there are people who believe that it is something twisted to suggest a Black person’s life could actually matter even if they aren’t black themselves.

What can you do?

As the beautiful woman that I had the honor of sharing space with said…LEAVE LESBIANS ALONE!