My First Love is Me
Whether we are LGBTQ or not, something that we all want in life is love. It seems that a common “necessity” for emotional health and stability is a loving, healthy, long term relationship with a person that truly loves us. Just the desire to have two arms wrapped around us, cuddling on the couch, with a good movie in some popcorn, without a care in the world. Even though there will be fights and arguments, it seems that we want someone to love us, and we want to love in return. This sometimes makes us feel complete.
But the real question is, with all of this want and necessity for love in our lives, do we carry love for ourselves? Do we make ourselves our first priority in life? Do we allow our own personal emotional health and stability become the most important thing to us?
In life, especially in the early stages of adulthood, we are taught about setting goals, to-do lists, and prioritizing. Sometimes it’s drilled into us so that we learn not to make some of the same mistakes as our parents and predecessors. A common lesson that isn’t taught is emotional self-preservation.
Emotional self-preservation is a much needed idea that must be taught to our younger generations. Things that should be taught in this idea are overcoming social hurdles that can lead to anxiety, depression, and self-hatred or self-neglect. Many people do not realize that in our world today, we tend to feel the need to want to match up to all of society’s standards, and try to make sure we’re wearing the right clothes, the right makeup, the right shoes, the right jewelry. I’ll say about 99% of the stuff that we do to try to look “cool” doesn’t even end up making us happy in the long run.
We are all guilty of this at some point or another. Trust me, even I was.
Here’s a few questions that are very uncommon that we should be asking ourselves. “How is this going to benefit me in the long run?” “How will wearing this make me feel in the end?” “Does this truly benefit me right now?”
Self love is important. And if taught at an early age, can be immensely beneficial to a person’s life. Making one’s self the number one priority is almost a requirement.
Before you can take care of anyone else or be able to love anyone else for who they truly are, you have to be able to take care of and love yourself for who YOU truly are. It’s just as vital as a fresh cup of coffee in the morning.
Self love is more than telling yourself “I love myself”. It’s about making sure that above anything or anyone else, you place yourself as your number one priority in life, such as making sure that your health and your happiness come first. When was the last time you went to get a check up? When was the last time you sought out a therapist for some emotional health? When was the last time you went and got a mani/pedi or went to the spa for the day? You see, taking care of other people can make you forget just how important your own personal emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual hygiene is.
Here’s some exercises you can do everyday or on a regular basis.
1. Every morning when you wake up, have thankfulness that you are still alive and well.
2. Find five things about yourself that are funny, and laugh about them.
3. Look in the mirror everyday, and tell yourself five things that out love about yourself.
4. Make sure you are hanging out with the right people. People have an affect on us all the time, whether it be good or bad.
5. Have a spa day. Go treat yourself to some fine dining, mall shopping, a mani/pedi, going to make sure your health is up to par, hangout with some friends who make you feel better about yourself.
Also, make sure that all of your needs are met, such as finances, a good home, food in your belly, and a healthy body. Supporting yourself in today’s world is not just essential, but vital.
Self love is not just a state of mind, or about feeling good. It’s about the actions that you take for the support of a healthy mind, body, and soul.
Asa Leveaux is the founder of Queer School™. To learn more visit www.queerschool.co
