A Gas Station Bathroom Is No Place For A Renaissance

Gender transitioning at work is a public affair that can go horribly wrong. What happens when it goes wonderfully well?

Photo by Annie Spratt

Once upon an autumn day,
Colorful leaves began to fade
In the midst of a chilly, frosty air
As multitude of trees grew steadily bare.

Once upon an autumn day,
The whispering breeze was here to stay
Moving aimlessly through the countless trees
Scattering leaves with the greatest of ease.

Once upon an autumn day,
The leaves whirled freely in every way,
Until at last they came to rest
Finding a haven in which to nest.

Once upon an autumn day,
The trees were dormant, and the leaves lay
Waiting for the winter snow to fall
To quickly obscure them one and all.


What’s it like to transition to your true gender identity before the eyes of colleagues that have known you for years? This is one such story of an engineer that made a very public transition in the aerospace industry.

For over a decade, the person now known as Marie-Isabelle Gendron began her career tinkering with helicopter and jet engines. She later trained fellow employees in maintenance and provided customer support when engines would breakdown. Her job focused on setting right what was not working; setting right her gender identity, however, was a challenge that required courage rather than a mechanic. One day, in the gruff environment of machinery and engineers at Pratt and Whitney, she assumed her true self at work as a woman. Here is her story of transitioning in the workplace.

A daily commute, a daily struggle

In 2012, Marie-Isabelle began to act on long-time questions as to whether being male was her true self. From behind closed doors, she tip-toed into the waters of being a woman. Once foreign clothing, makeup, and accessories provided an identity that now felt ’right’, though an identity she was not ready to reveal.

Come morning, she would get behind the wheel of her car with an hour-long commute before her. Passing every sequential exit on the highway, she would try to postpone the inevitable until no longer, reluctantly taking the next exit marked with a gas station. Leaving her car with a bag of clothes clutched discretely by her side, she would slip into the service station’s public bathroom. Off came the mellifluous fabrics, the dress and jewelry, replaced by pants and a shirt that fit a familiar body that did not feel right in its own skin. Out from the bathroom door walked a different person, a person forced back into a performance on a makeshift stage; she was ready to perform a role she was not meant to play in front of an onlooking audience of colleagues.

The daily commute was now a daily struggle. Leaving the house with men’s clothing began to exude its psychological toll.

“The feeling of these clothes on me, it just doesn’t work — impossible”.

The thoughts were broken by a new internal calling:

“I can’t do this anymore.”

One day in 2013 marked a change in script for her performance. She packed her men’s clothing away in the depths of her basement — and there they stayed. Here marked a personal rebirth that would suddenly become public.

Adapted from photo by Annie Spratt

The beginning of a renaissance

The October leaves were changing colour, ushering in the autumn season. The time was right for the last act of this performance. Passing the final exit to a gas station, this time she kept right on going, coming to a stop in the parking lot of Pratt and Whitney.

She walked in to work, making her way to her boss. The unexpected conversation followed.

“This is how I dress when not at work. I’m totally different”.

The response was utter shock, though well received. Her needs were met with understanding and with time, this at-first challenging situation morphed into a positive experience.

Looking out from the office windows, the autumn leaves fell and the transition to winter was visible. So too did the masculine accents fall, gradually replaced with a new appearance adorned with feminine features. Work pants were replaced with dresses. Short hair grew long while the beard vanished. Women’s accessories were donned without stigma. It was a whirlwind year, culminating with her return from a month-long vacation. Her transition was now complete, and in to work she walked with breasts and a new name printed on her office door.

Adapted from photo by Andrew Small

Transitioning in the workplace is a group affair

Being one’s authentic self in the workplace is an uncommon freedom for most Trans people. To this day in the United States, the Trans community experiences double the rate of unemployment; in 31 states, Trans people can be fired from their job merely for being Trans. Only last year did Canada draft bill C-16, making it illegal to deny a Trans person a job or discriminate against them in the workplace (the bill has since received royal accent). Few legal protections exist dehors Western nations. As a Trans person, becoming one’s authentic self in the workplace is inevitably a very public, in-your-face state of affair that is fraught with vulnerability.

Adapted from photo by Frances Gunn

Marie-Isabelle describes her transition as filled with fond memories due in part to the supportive work environment upheld by upper management. Instead of being ostracised and left to her own defenses, this workplace made her transition a company-wide issue that implicated everyone in the team. Championing full transparency, all directors and bosses — even the president of the company — were informed of her new identity.

Adapted from photo by Aniket Deole

The company made arrangements to ensure all employees were comfortable, first by offering gender-neutral bathrooms — designated for everyone — alongside gender-specific facilities. Rather than follow stern rules and wait for official certifications from government bodies, without hesitation the company changed her gender and name in their files and on her office door. Management could have made this situation a “Trans issue”; instead, they seized the opportunity to make her transition a matter of inclusivity and diversity, broadly construed. The in-house psychologist at Pratt and Whitney drafted a statement to all employees reassuring them that here, we defend all employees from discrimination in the workplace. Whether due to religion, race, culture, or sexual orientation, the company asserted that if anyone experienced discrimination, now would be an opportune time to speak with the company psychologist so that they could address the problem.

Let this outcome serve as a valuable lesson learned. When promoting inclusion and diversity in the workplace, the least desirable outcome is to institute policies that assert differences between employees, pitting an us-versus-them dynamic. The better approach is a strategy that reinforces cohesiveness and policies exemplary of the creed we’re-all-in-this-together.

New identity, new employees, new allies

We are not isolated atoms of persons. Human beings are social creatures, such that changes made to ourselves will inherently impact others in our entourage. Indeed, the rebirth of Marie-Isabelle touched many of her colleagues. She became a source of education at work, where many colleagues felt they could confide in her.

“My colleagues appreciate me more today than before my transition.”

More than a woman, her new identity became that of a confidante and ally; through her, closeted LGBTQ+ employees found strength in their own journey of coming out.

Adapted from photo by Providence Doucet

Moving forward

The groundbreaking film by Xavier Dolan, Laurence Anyway, is but one example of how Trans issues in the workplace have recently entered the limelight. While progress is evident, Marie-Isabelle claims that we need to keep the momentum going by educating the general public about the realities of being LGBTQ+ in society. In terms of the work environment, she believes the diversity and inclusion policies at Pratt and Whitney are a great foundation but merit some fine-tuning for specific minorities and contexts. Overall, companies large and small should provide resources to management so that they understand the needs of Trans employees; having access to a mental health professional that can explain the reality lived by members of the Trans community is also essential.

Why does it matter that employees like Marie-Isabelle are free to be their authentic self at work? It matters because only then can we all feel free and perform at our best.

Adapted from photo by Jérôme Prax

More about Marie-Isabelle Gendron and her presentation for Queer Tech Montreal

Marie-Isabelle recounted her transformation speaking in her native language, French. I , the author, provide here a freestyle translation of her spoken words with minor edits to help place her words in context; I tried my best to preserve her ‘voice’ and vernacular.

She was one of three presenters at our event, Being Your Authentic Self at Work. Here are the perspectives of our two additional speakers:

Come join us for our next event. Subscribe to our Meetup group and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

In her own words: the life and career of Marie-Isabelle

Je m’appelle Marie-Isabelle Gendron,

Je travaille chez Pratt & Whitney Canada comme spécialiste technique au centre de service à la clientèle, ouvert 24 heures par jour et 365 jours par année. La compagnie fabrique des moteurs à turbines très diversifiés pour avions et hélicoptères dans environs 200 pays au travers la planète.

Ma plus grande réalisation de ma vie a été ma transformation du masculin au féminin et ainsi être moi-même à 100% dans tous les aspects de ma vie. C’est au début octobre 2014 que je fais officiellement ma transition au travail.

Auparavant, en 2011, j’ai quitté ma conjointe, avec qui j’ai eu deux merveilleux garçons. Aujourd’hui on est de grandes amies.

Je découvre ensuite un amoureux. Il m’a grandement accompagné à m’épanouir dans mes vêtements féminin. Mais ma transformation est allée plus loin que les vêtements et je me suis transformé graduellement pour laisser vivre la femme en moi.

Un des grands défis a été mon intégration dans mon milieu de travail. J’ai pu garder mon emploi pendant ma transition. Au début, les gens ont été très surpris. J’ai dû y aller progressivement pour bien m’intégrer. La compagnie m’a supporté dans cette transition. Je considère que je suis devenu une meilleure employée. Mes collègues m’apprécient plus aujourd’hui qu’avant ma transition.

Aujourd’hui, je vis un bonheur intérieur incroyable de pouvoir vivre comme femme.

Photo by Annie Spratt

QueerTech

We are a community advocacy group for professionals who identify as Tech+Queer (LGBTQ+) and our Allies in Montréal. We provide a space to network, employ tech for civic engagement, and promote our visibility, diversity & inclusion in the Montréal tech start-up ecosystem.

Jason Behrmann, PhD

Written by

Communications strategist in science & technology. VP of Queer Tech MTL. Passions: public policy and the social implications of tech, travel, cooking, art.

QueerTech

QueerTech

We are a community advocacy group for professionals who identify as Tech+Queer (LGBTQ+) and our Allies in Montréal. We provide a space to network, employ tech for civic engagement, and promote our visibility, diversity & inclusion in the Montréal tech start-up ecosystem.

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