Women Seeking Women: Reddit

Hear me out! Reddit is not just for meme stocks and epic flame wars. It’s a viable low-fi dating platform taking its cues from Lex but offering you way more insight.

To the unenlightened, Reddit is a 90’s-style message board pumped up to 11. There’s an endless stream of topics (sub-Reddit’s) you can follow and participate in every discussion under the sun. So how does it translate to dating?

Well there are specific subs where people actively advertise their dating profile. It’s usually in the form of general location/age/brief bio about who you are and what you’re looking for. Hit post and now your message is part of a thread that signals to lurkers like myself that it’s okay to slide into your DM’s. Yes, Reddit has direct messages and while functionality is limited to text-only you can still get your flirt on and exchange enough messages to know if pictures are in the cards. Reddit also has a mail option if you’re from the 50’s. You can craft the best prose and send it to your crush’s mailbox, just don’t expect an actual reply. Direct messages are the way to go and anyone who takes the time to post an ad will be checking their DM’s.

So what makes Reddit so special?

History

Imagine this, you match with a hottie on your standard dating apps. She’s got great pictures and a witty bio, but that’s it. That’s all you have to go on and even if you exchange a few texts, you still don’t really have a good feel on who she is as a person. Well with Reddit you have access to every comment and post she made since registering for her account. You’ll see how she talks to people and what she talks about. If there’s any major red flags or incompatibilities I guarantee you’ll find them in her posting history, so do yourself a favour, click on her profile and read some of her most recent responses. You might think it’s overkill but you also might find some golden nuggets of wisdom in there, including hints of an interesting woman behind the profile.

Easier to transition

Because Reddit is limited to text-only, you’ll find it easier to transition off the app early. If you have good banter going on and the DM exchanges are fun, it’s crucial to move things along especially in the early stages. No, I don’t mean plan the wedding and pick out rings but you’ll want to exchange pictures within a week of talking at the latest. That’s where moving off Reddit helps and there is no better way to do that than switching to WhatsApp or Discord. Both provide you with free calls and the ability to swap pics, something maybe Reddit can add one day. I mentioned in my previous articles why it’s important to swap pics early and I’ll say it again. It’s important to swap pictures early because you don’t want your fantasy of a person to blind you to reality. Attraction is that pesky thing you really can’t control and as amazing as good conversation can be, I have yet to see it withstand the picture swap. Where usually one or both ladies back out because reality doesn’t line up with who they had in their minds. (Note, it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just that our minds hate being wrong).

Anonymity

Why the heck should you be worried about anonymity? Well, with all the data dating apps have on us, it’s nice to see Reddit doesn’t have the same reach. Yes, I mentioned they have your entire comment & post history on display, but they don’t store your phone number and picture. You decide how, when or even if you plan to share that info with the woman who’s words you fell in love with. That’s a sense of power we don’t get with the standard apps. There are also no dating profile prompts to answer and no filter categories to select, just you and a blank post.

So which subreddit should you go to in order to start Reddit dating? Most of them will be in the form of R4R (redditor for redditor). These subs will host multiple posts from various women seeking partners. LesbianR4R is the subreddit for women seeking women. Your results will vary of course. In my time of using reddit for dating I made the first move in speaking to 67 women. Here’s a breakdown of the stats:

34 actually replied back to me.

12 of the 34 had great banter to the point where we actually swapped pics/phone numbers.

3 of the 12 became really good long-distance friends.

Unfortunately none of the interactions led to a date or relationship, but I’ve also learned I’m not as interested in a long-distance relationship as I once was. You might have better luck if you stick to responding to those closes to your location, especially if you’ve been hoarding those airmiles all pandemic long.

Needless to say if you’re bored with purpose built dating apps, give Reddit a try. Just don’t listen to their stock tips.