In Our Financial Feelings with Giselle Lawrence
In our latest series, Navigating Emotional Newness, we are exploring the neuroplasticity that occurs when we reroute our brains to embrace information & pathways to feel well while embracing change. Adjusting our habits or changing can feel like an attack on our nervous systems, & often we deal with triggers & feeling the rawness of change because our defensive layers are being eroded. There’s usually nothing but flesh underneath wounds & it can feel wrong to expose ourselves. But that doesn’t mean it is. It’s different but can be very, very right. Every time we embrace & stick with alternative behaviors we give our brains a little more experience with the outcomes we desire. Over time, the unease fades. Until then, we brace ourselves & recommit as often as we can.
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Quench Finance: How was money discussed around you as a kid? Did you feel comfortable talking about it with your family?
Giselle Lawrence: Money was something that was discussed somewhat regularly as a kid. I didn’t come from a wealthy family and was classified as “low-income” but almost always had my needs met.
My mom was the primary breadwinner and always seemed to make things happen even if it was through working a second job to pay for college. I was exposed to both a private and public school education which allowed me to see other kids’ lives financially. That environment made the difference between those who were well-off and those who were able to get by and occasionally then some, very clear. I fell into the latter.
I was given an allowance and was always told to save a portion of it in the bank. I developed a habit of saving and enjoyed seeing my money grow. As I got older, when I was in high school my mom gave me books on financial wellness and literacy. I keep those resources on hand and refer to them often. Growing up I was aware that I wasn’t rich but I also knew that if I needed something or wanted something it was provided for me through working more. Rarely did I have conversations with my family on investing and ownership, however. As I get older, I understand that I can’t save my way to wealth, I have to have assets/ownership to get me there.
QF: In QTBILPOC communities, money & responsibilities are shared in ways that don’t always reflect Western values. How would you encourage someone who is beginning to develop new emotional awareness surrounding finance & is changing their habits within a framework that challenges or pushes against [their] expectations?
GL: …first and foremost it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Surround yourself with resources and people who have done what it is you’re aspiring to do. Your immediate friends may not be those people and accepting that is important. You will meet people who will motivate you to want more/better for yourself and money is one part of it. Stay close to those people/conversations and always be willing/open to learn [sic].
QF: How can we build awareness of the ways our beliefs about money were shaped without reinforcing destructive patterns?
GL: It took me talking about money with other people — my friends and family to better understand what beliefs I have about money. Being willing to talk honestly and openly about money, what I’ve learned, and that I want to do differently is a start.
QF: How do you stay encouraged while changing directions? Especially when building new habits surrounding money?
GL: For me, having a support system is one of the most important pieces to staying encouraged. I have found support in my friends at time[s] and online communities such as Facebook groups: “The Money Incubator: Financial Freedom For The Culture,” and “Dream Catchers: LIVE RICHER w/ The Budgetnista”.
QF: We love The Budgetnista! What else?
GL: I take stock of the positive patterns I developed and use them as reminders for where I want to go. This in addition to doing research and reading people’s lived experience/testimonials help[s] to speak positively in my mind/heart when I am struggling to believe in myself.
QF: Who are some of your favorite advocates or finance influencers?
GL:
Beez
Ayesha Seldes (Selden’s self-published book can be found here.)
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Giselle Lawrence (she/they) is a case associate & client service representative working in retirement/financial services by day; & an aspiring product manager by night. From ideation to execution, they are a creative & strategist at heart. Recently they have co-hosted the Out In Tech Black Mental Health | Emotion Regulation series alongside Lianna Newman who we’ll hear from soon. They enjoy writing, dabble as a photographer/editor, & they are a tenor saxophonist. Go follow them here on Instagram.
