One Step at a Time with Dr. Steph
Quench Finance: How was money discussed around you as a kid? Did you feel comfortable talking about it with your family?
Dr. Steph: Growing up, we didn’t talk much about money. I remember watching my mom write checks when I was a kid, so when I would want something and my mom would say that we couldn’t buy that right now, I will tell her “just write a check.” She laughed and then explained to me how money actually worked. I had no concept of a bank account until my mom sat down and explained to me that there has to be money there for you to be able to write a check. I only knew that when there was a need or desire, my mom would write a check and that thing would be ours. I felt comfortable talking about money as a kid because my mother would speak freely with me about it. But growing up with a single mother, I also understood that money had to be handled with care and intentionality and that we couldn’t always get everything right away.
QF: How can we build awareness of the ways our beliefs about money were shaped without reinforcing destructive patterns?
Dr. Steph: I think we can learn so much about ourselves and the people we care about by really getting curious about our beliefs and when we learned those beliefs. So instead of making fixed statements like “there isn’t enough to go around,” we could ask ourselves “when did we learn that?” And if we learned that idea growing up in a different circumstance than we are living in now, is that a belief that we can allow ourselves to outgrow and maybe allow the possibility of some new beliefs?
QF: How do you stay encouraged while changing directions? Especially when building new habits surrounding money?
Dr. Steph: That can be a tough one. Often, myself included, people will try to make huge changes all at once, then get discouraged, and sabotage all of their progress. So while building new habits around money or anything else, it can be helpful to make small changes and sustain them over time. So for example, if you want to become someone who saves money regularly, instead of cutting out a huge amount of money from your budget that is not sustainable, start maybe with saving 3% of your income each pay period or whatever you can. Do that for a month and adjust to it. Increase the amount if you can from there and keep saving that same amount for another month. That may cause you to become a bit more creative but it will be more sustainable for you than to make a drastic change and then give up because you don’t feel like you can continue it. Progress is so encouraging. When you see something is working, you’re more motivated to keep doing it. But you may not make it to the progress [you desire] if you don’t set yourself up to succeed long enough to maintain it.
QF: What are ways folx can look for guidance if they don’t immediately have access to a counselor or coach?
Dr. Steph: This is such a great question. Personally, I know what it is to not be able to afford therapy and also what it is to make it my goal to be able to afford therapy. There are so many resources out there right now they can be helpful to people needing more support. There are listings for therapists and coaches to be found online. The price of therapy may make it seem out of reach for some people, but there are options out there like asking the clinician if they offer a sliding scale or know other clinicians who do. Many therapists maintain a portion of their schedules for sliding scale appointments. There are also a number of platforms like Betterhelp, Teledoc, or Open Path, as well as community organizations that offer therapy at a discounted rate. Checking in with your insurance provider, or employee assistance programs that may be included in your job’s benefits package, may also provide a certain amount of sessions that may also be available to you at little or no cost. Also if there is a local university that has a counseling training program, they are often Counseling Center’s that offer heavily discounted sessions with therapists in training that are supervised by licensed professionals. There are also introspective tools that help you to engage with yourself on a deeper level like podcasts, Dr. Ebony‘s therapy cards, and guided journal prompts to help ask yourself deeper questions and learn more about mental health. There are also foundations that are helping with therapy costs like Taraji P. Henson’s foundation.
QF: Who are some of your favorite advocates or finance influencers?
Dr. Steph: @Keziamw, @makerealcents, @girlsthatinvest, & @theinvestingtutor are some of my favorite finance influences.
_______
Stephane Louis, Ph.D., LMFT (she/her) is a therapist, writer, qualified supervisor, instructor, & introvert. As a queer woman of Haitian descent, she explores different ways the intersectionality of culture, family, identity, & sexuality can impact our lives. She is fascinated by stories of vulnerability, as well as always looking for strengths & solutions. Dr. Steph helps people feel safe to be themselves & go from where they are to where they can be.
Dr. Steph also works with The Christian Closet, an online therapeutic resource for people who are trying to work out what it means to have a LGBTQI sexual identity, or gender identity within a Christian context. She focuses on mindfulness meditation, solution-focused brief therapy, & collaborative conversations in her work with individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, sexuality, & other life issues. Through coaching, clinical supervision, & relational therapy, she will meet you where you are & help you grow into the most authentic version of yourself. Dr. Steph is a qualified supervisor for Registered Marriage and Family Therapy Interns and Registered Mental Health Counselor Interns seeking licensure in the state of Florida & can provide coaching for clients located elsewhere. Follow her on Instagram: @talktodrsteph
