Feminism and Motherhood
The Catch-22 of being a mom in our modern society
When I was a kid, I thought I was going to grow up to be just like my mom. A blurry vision of my adult life included getting married, living in a cute house, and having kids. I observed my parents’ conventional marriage—my father, the breadwinner; my mother, the homemaker—and accepted it as my own future.
As I got older, I began to realize that, although I respected all my mother had done for me, her life goals greatly differed from mine. While my mom’s greatest ambition had been to find the perfect man, get married, and have children, my goal is to become an advocate for social justice and women’s rights. After working for Girls Inc. and creating a Feminist Club at my school, I have realized that I want to do this kind of work for the rest of my life.
While my mom is incredibly proud of my passion to change the world, she is reluctant to call herself a feminist because of the judgment she has received for her lifestyle choices. “What do you do all day?” people often ask my mother, implying that she is merely a lazy and privileged housewife. Well, to answer that, my mom buys groceries, cleans the whole house, takes care of my grandparents, and makes an amazing dinner for our family every night. When I was younger, my mom did art projects with me, taught me how to read and do basic arithmetic, drove me to and from school, and helped me with my homework. If somebody does not think my mom works really hard every day, that person is greatly mistaken.
A couple weeks ago, my mom and I discussed the Catch-22 of motherhood: while working mothers are judged for neglecting their children, stay-at-home mothers are judged for conforming to a traditional gender role. I think these kinds of opinions take away the whole point of the feminist movement, which is that women should be able to choose what kind of life they want to live. My mother has taught me that while it is okay to defy stereotypical gender roles, it is also okay to embrace them. Although I do not have the same aspirations my mother had when she was my age, if I ever do start a family, I want to teach my children that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up, regardless of their gender.
Human beings are full of contradictions. I myself am a very assertive young woman, but I am also very feminine. My mother may be a housewife, but she has joined the fight for equality of all genders. Since the day I was born, my mom has been working to make my life perfect, and I am thankful every day for all that she has done for me. I now realize, as I finish writing this essay, that I do want to be just like my mother when I grow up. I want to be happy.
