Sexual satisfaction has nothing to do with performance.
“It might sound strange, but couples who have learned to put pleasure over performance generally have a more satisfying sex life,” Dr. David Helfand, PsyD, who specializes in couples therapy, told me. “Forgot about orgasming at the same time or orgasming at all.”
Though counterintuitive, Helfand says it’s actually the best way to boost sexual satisfaction because you’re more focused on the journey than the destination.
“When you focus on pleasure and fully embody the experience, you learn to savor every moment and in most cases the performance will happen anyway,” he said. “This is why couples in their sixties and seventies tend to report higher sexual satisfaction than couples in their twenties and thirties. Learn from your elders. Just enjoy the ride.”
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