A 52-Year Journey to Transitioning: Part 1
Transitioning is the process whereby individuals undergo hormonal and surgical treatment to align their bodies with the gender that they identify with.
Though acceptance has been growing, there are still a lot of challenges and a greater lack of awareness. What always help highlight a neglected problem, and not just in healthcare — is personal stories. Real people who come forward and share their experiences, their wins and losses.
Our mission here at Qunomedical is to provide access to excellent healthcare for every individual, the world over. Here’s a story of our patient Jennifer, a 52 year old army veteran from the US who underwent gender reassignment surgery this summer in Mexico.
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in the story are the patient’s own. We do not take responsibility for them.
Jennifer remembers growing up as a 5 year old boy, and having to bear physical and emotional abuses. Speaking of this she says,
As I grew, I learned to hide my feelings. I learned not to accept responsibility for my actions, just lie and deny to avoid the pain abiding. I began to hate who I was — no integrity, I didn’t know who I was, and I felt worthless as I was becoming more and more what my counselors refer to as codependent. I hated my body. Why? If I were a man like my father, then I would never accept the beatings that I was taking and would never allow anyone to abuse me. I would be strong and forthright and stand up for what was right with honor, but I was helpless like a little girl.
High school and puberty began, a period when most people feel lost or confused.
I was ashamed of who I was. I hated myself and what men stood for and just wanted to die. This ID crisis set the stage for what was yet to come: transitioning, and, thus, the internal battle began. Then came college, and I was finally free — away from my father and his abuse — so I thought. The desire for womanhood and dressing accordingly along with the desire to transition intensified like it never did before. Because it was difficult to hide the clothes in a college roommate setting, I still was oppressed and fearful of being found out. When I finished college, all the years of mental, physical and emotional abuse with no way out/no escape finally made me snap.
I joined the military in the unavailing hope that finally I would be a man, and my father would have to accept me.
Even after years of serving in the military, going through tough combat conditions Jen’s expectations of improving her relationship with her father came tumbling down — his relentless onslaught of insults, derogations, and the abuse continued.
I fell into a deep depression — I couldn’t hurt anyone or hurt myself — I just wasn’t geared that way. I sought out another counselor but this time not a transgender specialist rather a trauma specialist — -a counselor that deals in the trauma from abuse. Only now do I realize how close I came to doing something really drastic. Being transgender was not what was hurting me. I wanted to know why I was transgender. That is the most important question you must answer before you can truly transition
Jen slowly began her recovery.
I began to accept that I was a human being that deserved to be treated kindly and with respect. I accepted that becoming a woman was my way of being able to be all those things I wanted to be, to be given the right to do so.
To finally fit in — correlate what I felt with what I saw.
Find the second part of the story here.
