A few years ago my friends gave me a talk that really lowers my self-esteem. Since then I am not a very social person with people I am not close with. What should I do?
You have the power to determine how any external event (or talk) affects you. You don’t know their true motivations or intentions, so you are making an assumption.
Even if you DO KNOW the motivation, you STILL HAVE the POWER to interpret the talk the way you desire.
Here are three possible ways you could interpret that talk.
#1: They weren’t really friends, they were saying lies and they were trying to hurt you. In this case, you don’t care what they say any more than what a stranger on the street might say. Forget about the talk.
#2: They actually were friends, but they had no clue that what they said may have hurt you. There was no ill intent. In this case, acknowledge that your friends are a little shortsighted, forgive them and move on.
#3: They actually were friends and they thought that the “talk” might be difficult, but ultimately it was for your own good. In this case, they guessed incorrectly. But, their intentions were actually in your best interest, at least in their opinion. They were wrong. Forgive them and move on.
And finally, don’t forget to forgive yourself in the process.
Forgive yourself for using that “talk” as a hammer to your self-esteem.
Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest part.
Love yourself, accept yourself, put it behind you and move forward.
