The Honored Quran
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The Honored Quran

Shocking Marriage Advices from a 12 Year Old

“Don’t make it too formal. Be funny but formal at the same time. Like most teachers when they have a good laugh.”

My cousin Ayaan, who gave me this advice about a month prior to my wedding, which I recorded and transcribed below.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you extreme love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who think deeply.” (Qur’an, 30:21)

“When you meet a new person in your life, you want to make a good impression on them.

Let them talk

So first you need to let them talk. You need to ask them about themselves. So say you are going to get married. And you are new to this new person that you are going to know for the rest of your life. You want to know a bit more of them and you also have to introduce yourself more to them as well. So you both get comfortable with each other. And you can actually stay with each other for the rest of your lives inshaAllah.

Listen Carefully

So first step. Listen to this very carefully. First step. You want to impress them by asking all about them. Not really impress. More like ask. You want to ask them about who they are. You want to ask them.. Remember this is a big big thing. Who are you?

Who am I? I am a 12 year old boy that is in grade 6. I have basically a lot of uncles, I’ve great cousins. My scores are high at school. You want to ask them about themselves. So first you just go ahead and ask them.

Appreciate and Be interested

Then once they start telling you things, you want to actually appreciate what a great soulmate they are. You want to be very interested in what they are talking about. Like genuinely interested. Don’t act interested, because that’s a bad start to your relationships.

Ask Questions

When you ask them you don’t go like “What about you.” You don’t go like that. That is stupid. You want to go and make a great impression on them. You ask them certain specific questions. Not too broad. Questions about what they do now a days. What are their hobbies. Their passions. What they like doing. Their passions. What they are good at. You ask them about their family members. Your education. How are you going at school. not school, university probably. How they are going at university.

Pay Attention

You also want to pay attention and not just act like you are listening. You actually need to listen because this will have a great play in your relationships. If you do not have this part in your first step in you relationships, you’re not going to have a relationship properly. This is the main thing.

Introduce Yourself

Second step, after they finish talking about themselves, you need to introduce yourself as well. Of course you ask them first. Because it is more formal, and more greeting. Its how everyone makes friends, or wives or husbands. Usually the husband would ask their wives first for a formal greeting.

Be prepared

Then when the wives ask about the husband, you want to know what you are going to say. You don’t go like, I’ve just woken up. Panic alert. My wife is currently asking me all about me. So if you don’t basically have a life, its going to be hard to explain. So if you don’t basically have a life, then its going to be hard to explain about you.

You need to have hobbies. You need to have passions. You need to have great educations. You also want to show them what you have done in your life. Like one great thing I’ve accomplished is make this model of BMW with small parts of Lego. And you can’t really see it through the recordings.

You want to tell them all about you. You want to openly share this information with your wife.

Say you’re a good liar. You’re not allowed to do that in relationships.

Remember, don’t make it awkward. Make it easy to understand what is going on in your life. And just tell them about you.

Step three, Once they know about you, you want to ask them about their friends. Maybe not that. But people they are close to with. Like their family members. Its always good to know extra information.

Impress Her

Another thing you want to do is probably make your wife happy. Like this man has done something great. My wife has done something great. Then they feel confident in this relationship. They go like: If this man, if my husband or wife is like this, surely it should be a great relationship.

For example, you got an award from the president [actually its the principal]. That’s something you would want to share with your wife.

Treat your wife or husbands great.

Compliment Twice

Never complement someone over three times or once. Only two times. Because once — if you said it once, that’s too little. Then they will feel like, this man or this woman has nothing great to say something about me. And if it is three, then it just feels a bit awkward. You can tell. Its also hard for the person to come up with.

Don’t make it too formal. Be funny but formal at the same time. Like most teachers when they have a good laugh.”

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you extreme love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who think deeply.” (Qur’an, 30:21)

“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” (Qur’an, 2:187)

“Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and coolness of eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” (Qur’an, 25:74)

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Official blog of the Honored Quran Institute.

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Samet Faruque

Samet Faruque

A Project management student, Imam, Engineering graduate, writer, Qur'an tutor, and more :) Welcome to my page.

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