Are You in Emotional Overdrive?
How emotional intelligence is like pumping the brakes on our emotions
Published on behalf of Robert Turner
Hello! My name is Robert Turner. I am an African American man, 23 years of age, and I a currently serving a 25-year sentence for a string of robberies I was involved in back in the winter of 2018. Mine is quite a testimony, and perhaps I will be able to expound on it further in a future address. But, for now, I’d like to discuss a topic that I personally believe to be one of the most relevant and fundamentally critical concepts for us to understand. It’s particularly applicable to how we move forward through the turbulent times we've been experiencing as of late.
First and foremost, however, I’d like you to humor me for a moment and imagine yourself in a car traveling on an interstate at 75+ miles per hour. Traffic is moving steadily and swiftly, but there are a good amount of vehicles around you. All is well when suddenly your steering wheel locks in place. You feel an initial pang of confusion and panic and your heart rate doubles. You continue to jiggle the wheel but to no avail. Then you shift your foot to the brake pedal…and you find it won’t depress; like the steering wheel, it is deadlocked in its position.
Imagine for a moment that insurmountable terror would overcome you as you find yourself trapped in a runaway vehicle over which you have no control.
Thankfully, such a scenario is about as unrealistic as it is terrifying. My driving is dangerous enough as is, even in a perfectly functioning vehicle. However, I offer this image to provide an analogous backdrop to which we might more fully comprehend the concept of emotional intelligence.
Now, mind you, I’m no sort of doctor, counselor, or therapist, and I haven’t had a lick of formal education on matters of the heart and mind. However, I have experienced both what comes from a lack of emotional intelligence, as well as the reward of gaining and applying such self-discipline to see ourselves through the many adversities and trials that life so unfailingly throws our way.
Emotional intelligence has to do with one’s ability to effectively manage their emotions by tempering them with sound reason, and exploiting them so that one might overcome triggering situations. It isn’t easy, it doesn’t come naturally to us, and it’s something that takes great diligence. It’s a balancing act; it’s something you have to be constantly aware of like you have to always keep your eyes on the road when driving. I don’t care who you are, driving is not something that you can get so good at it you can do it without looking. The same level of awareness is required when it comes to our emotions.
This is something that I especially want to get across to my fellow Black men, women, and people who, like myself, are viscerally affected by the images we’ve been seeing since our ancestors first set foot on the soil of America. Black backs torn open by the whips of their enslavers; Black necks with cast iron collars affixed with bells in case an enslaved person attempts to escape; Black bodies hanging limp from tree branches with their pants around their ankles; a Black child lying bloated in a casket, face mutilated beyond recognition; Black men suffocating and gunned down by police on an almost monthly basis…
I think the real issue is that — given the traumatic history of Black people in America — we deal with emotions that are far stronger than many people realize.
No Black man, woman, person, or child is unaffected by the trauma of racism. I saw the images of Emmett Till when I was nine and remember the feeling of my heart recoiling at the sight. I remember not sleeping for months afterward. I remember that I gave up baths and started taking showers because lying in the water became an eery experience as I thought about Emmett lying in the river for three days.
Black people are emotionally taxed from a very young age. We fight and strive for equality, and perhaps one day we will be equal…but we will never be the same. And this is why I believe it to be tantamount for Black people in particular to grasp this concept of emotional intelligence.
I was asked, when charged with writing this piece, to consider a few questions, one of which was whether or not I felt low emotional literacy — the ability to identify and understand one's emotions — was common among Black people, especially those of us that are incarcerated like myself. My answer to that is no, I don’t feel like low emotional literacy is the problem. I think we know exactly how we feel and why we feel the way we do.
I think the real issue is that given the traumatic history of Black people in America, we deal with far stronger emotions than many people realize. We are a somber people. Some of us so jaded and detached we might seem menacing. We don't trust, and for whatever reason, we aren’t trusted. White people are often unnerved by us. I believe it’s partly because they know we have ample reason to hate them and even retaliate.
But I’m also very proud of our resolve not to do so. It shows a strength that outweighs that of succumbing to vengeful action.
In closing, I saw this: regardless of race, gender, creed, religion, or status, we as a species are on the cusp of the next stage of progression and evolution of the mind. And pivotal to that progression will be our ability to pump the brakes on our emotions, and rather than simply suppressing them, be able to steer them in a way that we might safely reach our destination amidst even the most trying of times. We’ll discuss more next time.
Thank you so much for your time, and God Bless.
