Respectfully, A Black Woman
2021 Scholarship Essay Competition
By Mia Redic, 2021 Scholarship Essay Competition Honorable Mention
I am tall above average for most females, a solid 5’9, I wear my hair usually in box braids in a high-top bun. My style isn’t ostentatious but I do have a sense of fashion let’s not get that wrong. I don’t turn many heads, if I do it’s because of my height. Through my eyes, I see an average twenty-year college student with aspirations to change the world, to be able to see a brighter tomorrow. But, in the eyes of society, I am black first and then considered a human being. As an African American, I have come to terms with understanding that society doesn’t recognize my humanity first, they see my black skin, and to them, that is a threat.
As an African American young woman, I have had to learn how to comply, but not to be submissive, control my emotions, but not be silenced. What some young woman with my character would be labeled as strong-willed, I would be labeled as an “angry black woman” bitter and ungrateful at the world. During the four years of my high school career, I attended a predominantly white school. In my junior year in preparation for college, I decided to take an Advanced Placement Government and Politics course, and during one of our class discussions on the topic of affirmative action, one of my classmates agreed that affirmative action was racist against white people, and said that it was a ploy for minorities to continue to milk the system and went on to bring up welfare queens. Remember, comply but not submissive, comply, not submissive repeated in my mind at that moment. In a firm tone, I was very curt and objected to what my classmate said and even brought up facts of welfare and affirmative action usage in our country. After I finished my rebuttal, my instructor, turned to my class and stated, “of course, she turned to anger that’s what her kind does, this was merely a civil discussion.” I was then asked to excuse myself from class so I could get my “emotions in check”. As I asked my instructor, why I needed to be excused he replied in a sarcastic tone, “no need to become angry this isn’t like your hood with your homies, step out and come back when you can chill out.” And then chuckled, along with my other white classmates, the other fellow black student in my course awkwardly signaled at the door for me to step out of the class.
Having a sense of emotional intelligence develops a sense of vulnerability and being able to understand the vulnerability that we carry opens up our feelings of empathy.
At that moment my emotions were all over the place, I felt defeated and angry for succumbing to their stereotype of an “angry black woman”. I also felt hopeless because I didn’t comply and I didn’t control my emotions I let the stereotypes get the best of me. And, I even began to ponder did I belong in that environment, I even started to accept that I was an angry black woman. As I navigated the rest of my high school journey and into now my higher education years I have processed my emotions. I was able to process my emotions because I realized the ignorance, not of my classmate nor instructor, but lies within our society in regards to the embrace racial inequality. My classmate made that statement out of confidence in a false narrative that they had been educated in and was not exposed to 400 years of racial inequity that has blanketed our society. The emotional impact of that incident still impacts me today slightly, I sometimes find myself hesitant not to speak out, but to speak up. I sometimes find myself in my courses not participating in class discussions or always apologizing before I speak, because I don’t want to be that angry black woman. I want to be confident, not angry, a college student, not just be labeled as that black woman.
Having a sense of emotional intelligence develops a sense of vulnerability and being able to understand the vulnerability that we carry opens up our feelings of empathy. The tools surrounding emotional intelligence might have helped develop my sense of empathy for my classmate and instructor and would’ve changed my emotional response. Emotional intelligence is possessing the ability to be aware and understand your emotions and to recognize and identify the emotions of others, to further, understand how those emotions influence a person’s actions. Having the ability to understand, show empathy, for your emotions and the emotions of others can rewrite the nature of the conflict. Understanding the emotion behind my classmate and the emotion my instructor held would’ve altered my approach and response to the racially insensitive comment that was made. Having the tools of emotional intelligence at that very moment, I would’ve had compassion for my classmate and instructor because they reinforce racially insensitive stereotypes and felt those stereotypes to be true and haven’t had the chance to experience the value of truth. My response to my classmate’s comment would’ve been educating and contained an empathetic nature to it. I wouldn’t have garnered the reaction my professor intrinsically had hoped for, a bitter and loud black woman, I would’ve controlled my emotions, but not silenced myself.
There is an African proverb that says, “Concern is like medicine”, having a sense of emotional intelligence allows one to recognize the humanity that is found within, develop a sense of empathy. Everything is birthed from discomfort and possessing the tools of emotional intelligence that allows one to see, feel, and hear is what truly matters: my voice, my life, my skin.
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