Being Straightforward is Not Mean
There’s a difference between being blunt and being cruel.
Recently, I had the privilege of having my first real troll, someone who not only commented on my work, but sent me multiple verbose emails about why I was wrong. After I wrote about the fact that friendship is something to be earned, not owed, I received another email from him. In it, he accused me of writing something mean-spirited and hurtful.
I run into this a lot. I say something straightforward, and the person responds as though I have said something deeply personal about their mother. It’s as though I have mortally wounded the other person’s ego without even trying. Perhaps their ego is bruised, but I can’t be responsible for how people choose to respond to things.
Speaking openly, honestly, and authentically is often seen as being mean or rude.
It feels like at some point, handling people with kid gloves became more important than being up front and communicating clearly. Speaking openly, honestly, and authentically is often seen as being mean or rude. It is true that sometimes people use directness as an excuse to be harsh. Often these communications are preceded by phrases like “no offense, but…” or “not to be rude, but…”
