Adam Sandler’s Movie, Spanglish, Needs A New Ending More In Line With Today’s American Values

DavidGrace
Jul 17, 2018 · 3 min read

In today’s America, the movie’s hard-working immigrant child who grew up to be admitted to Princeton is now a criminal whose proper fate at the closing credits would be to be deported in chains.

David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)

My girlfriend told me that I should watch Spanglish starring Adam Sandler, so we streamed it. She was right. I thought it was a nice little movie. In it, a drop-dead gorgeous single mother, Flor, drags her six-year-old daughter, Christina, across the Mexican desert and into the United States in order to find a better life.

The mother works two jobs and makes a decent home for herself and Christina, eventually accepting a nanny job in Westwood for Sandler, a star chef, and his self-centered, clueless wife played by Tea Leoni.

Heart-warming comedy ensues as Flor struggles to navigate around Leoni’s corrosive personality, and the audience tries to figure out why Sandler doesn’t grow a pair and stop putting up with his wife’s toxic, clueless nonsense.

Anyway, the movie has a nice ending where Flor does NOT end up with Sandler, and, instead quits her job leaving Sandler free to salvage his broken marriage with Leoni.

The story is told in flashbacks in which Christina narrates the events via a voice-over reading of her admission application to Princeton University.

OK, so at the end we’re all happy. Flor didn’t sleep with Sandler. Sandler presumably fixed his troubled marriage to Leoni. Christina grew up to be talented and beautiful and the recipient to full scholarship to Princeton University.

Except that today we know that’s not how the story would actually end.

Today a bunch of frightened, angry, old white men would be shaking their fists at Christina and shouting, “Send her back! Send her Back!”

Today, Flor leading her daughter across the desert without papers would no longer be seen as some modern-day equivalent to the Moses leading the Jews out of Egypt.

No, to those oh-so-moral, decent, Christian supporters of the most despicable person who ever occupied the White House, Flor is a nasty criminal, and the fact that she raised a child who qualified for admission to one of the most prestigious universities in the world would be nothing more than evidence of her heinous crime of being a border jumper who dared to take an Ivy-League slot that should have gone to a real, meaning white, American.

So, that’s it for the original Spanglish. The ending has to change to fit the times.

In order to mesh with today’s revised moral values, Adam Sandler needs to shoot new final scenes where, with red lights and sirens blaring, ICE agents descend on Flor and Christina, clap them in chains and ship them back across the border where all of those other melon-pickers and criminals stealing seats at Ivy-League universities from real, white, Americans belong.

Now, if you don’t see that as a happy ending, that’s your problem. For all those He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named supporters whose ancestors came from Italy, Germany, Poland, Ireland and other whiter-than-white countries without formal papers, it’s a joyous Hollywood Ending after all.

If he wants to keep the original ending, Sandler will have to re-shoot the movie with the staring role now filled by a knock-out, blue-eyed, blonde fleeing to the United States to escape the frigid Norwegian winters. That’s the kind of illegal whose border jumping most of Mr. Despicable's supporters would be able to overlook.

–David Grace (www.DavidGraceAuthor.com)

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DavidGrace

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Graduate of Stanford University & U.C. Berkeley Law School. Author of 17 novels and over 200 Medium columns on Economics, Politics, Law, Humor & Satire.

Racism & Immigration Columns By David Grace

Columns on Race, Racism, Discrimination & Immigration

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