Is Revival Any Good?

No.

It’s not good. It’s bad. It’s the worst Eminem album, which is honestly helpful because I’ve always had trouble figuring out which album is his worst. But now I have an answer: Revival.

Let’s talk about the highlights of the album:

“Chloraseptic”

The beat on Chloraseptic will 100% melt your face off so please be careful when you listen to it. It’s sooooo good. Eminem makes the most of the 5 minutes he’s given, and it’s nice to see him just rhyme about random shit instead of Trump, drugs, and Kim. Em needs to make more RAP songs and less whatever the fuck he’s making. My only knock on the song is he’s still using his weird post-Relapse choppy flow, which has no place in 2017.

“Untouchable”

Ay man, I’m all about some “fuck Trump and Nazis” and I’m all about this song. It’s six minutes long and Eminem takes advantage of every second and delivers one of the most well thought out songs that tackles what’s happening in 2017. If he had another 3 minutes, I would’ve loved for him to rap about the tax bill, net neutrality, Roy Moore, and the godless bitches that are also known as The Republican Party. Fuck them. This album isn’t for people who believe in taking healthcare away from millions and giving tax breaks to rich people while making average Americans poorer. But yeah, This song is cool.

“Framed”

Heeeey! We have violent Eminem back for a track! This one sounds like it could’ve been made in the late 90s, and that’s a positive sign! The only problem is that it’s track 12 and so far there has only been 2 songs worth listening to repeatedly. But it’s a fun song, it’s well written and rapped to perfection. Of course, he’s back to putting bodies in his trunk, which he’s done 1,000,000 times before. Someone needs to check his car.

“Offended”

Very iffy song. It has good highs and some abysmal lows. Which is a perfect descriptor for this album. He does the rapping fast thing again, which white people fucking LOVE. But then he breaks the song with a terrible chorus. Believe it or not, he goes for Trump again, which is a running theme on the album. One or two songs is fine, but half an album? Listen, there’s a saying that could be useful to Em: Less is more.

“In Your Head”

Yeah bitch, I fucking love the Cranberries so therefore I love a song that is rapped to the Cranberries. There’s not a bad moment in this song. My only note for improvement is he should’ve switched it up halfway through and did MORE Cranberries songs.

Possible Dope Songs: “Castle”, “Arose”

Okay, there are a lot of people who like those songs and I’m not one of them. I feel like we’ve beaten a dead horse when it comes to his drug addiction, Kim, and his daughter. And those things are fine to rap about, they’ve clearly had an effect on Eminem, but he’s made 9 albums and they’ve all generally had the same running theme (drug addiction dominated Relapse and Recovery). Sure, the songs are good, but it just feels like I’ve heard them a thousand times. If it helps Eminem, great. But does that mean the songs are immune to the skip button? NOPE.

So 5 songs out of 19 are dope. That’s not good. The Ed Sheeran joint is fucking garbage and it’s not Ed’s fault. He raps over “I Love Rock and Roll.” He insists on letting Skylar Grey put her fingerprints all over the album, and she’s a great musician but she needs to be as far away from Eminem as possible.

He also uses an Alicia Keys feature as a Trump diss, which again is too much. In 2017, we are subjected to millions and millions of opinions about Trump and the current social and political climate, and it’s always nice to hear an artist use his platform to speak out about fuckery, but too much of it ruins a good thing. Especially when you’re reiterating the same point over and over again.

You know how “Monster” was a really bad song on MMLP2? Imagine if Eminem took that song and made a whole album of it. That’s what Revival is. And it pains me to say it, because I’m a Stan, but if this is the last time we hear Eminem, I’m okay with it.

It’s more disheartening that Em is clearly aware of the criticism his later albums have received, and he talks about how much it bothers him, yet he still refuses to go back to what worked before. I’ve talked before about artist evolution, but this is a bad form. If there’s a next stage in his career, I’m not sure I want to be there for it.

If I had to rate it out of 10: 4/10 — But there’s a good chance on a couple more re-listens, the rating goes up.

P.S., drop Rick Rubin on whatever island we drop Skylar Grey on so they can’t reach Eminem ever again.