King Kong vs. Godzilla: Pre-fight Analysis
With the recent release of Kong: Skull Island, nerds across the world have stepped up to the mic to offer their takes on how the film measures up to 2014’s Godzilla. It’s a natural juxtaposition, but the two are entirely different and comparing two movies that are so far apart in tone doesn’t seem right (well, that and Godzilla was obviously so much better that I don’t see the point in talking about it).
Instead, I’m here to give my pre-fight prediction of the upcoming King Kong vs. Godzilla movie that doesn’t have a director, screenwriter, cast, or crew attached to it, and scheduled for release in 2020. Since the movie isn’t much more than an idea right now, I don’t have much to go on. So, I’ve created three categories and whichever monster wins the majority of the categories will have the advantage going into the fight.
LOCATION:
I think it’s safe to assume this fight is going to happen in some city and I’m only making my prediction based off of Kong: Skull Island and Godzilla, so Peter Jackson’s King Kong is void here, which means we’ve never seen this Kong fight in a city before. Going into a new environment for a fight may not put Kong at a huge disadvantage here, but it certainly doesn’t help any. Who knows, maybe this Kong gets homesick when he leaves his island for the first time and he can’t fully focus on the fight? I’m not saying this will happen, but hey, reasonable doubt (it worked for OJ). That’s not enough to give Godzilla this round though. However, something we do know is the only thing Kong loves more than blondes is climbing things and there are a whole bunch of buildings to climb in just about any city imaginable. And if there’s one thing I learned from Godzilla, it’s that he will not hesitate to knock down any building. At any point during the fight, Kong could go on the defense and try to scale a skyscraper to escape Godzilla and all it’s going to take is one swift whip of that scaly tail for another giant gorilla to fall to its death.
Godzilla: 1, Kong: 0
COMBAT:
No one knows exactly what Godzilla is, but he looks like he’s a 350-foot-tall half-lizard, half-tyrannosaurus-rex. He’s going into this thing with a huge reach disadvantage. There’s just no way around it. On the other hand (no pun intended), Kong was throwing punches all throughout his movie. He might be able to get away with hitting Godzilla with a straight jab for fifteen minutes honestly. He can do more than punch too. His long arms give him the edge in the grappling department and at one point during Kong: Skull Island, he even threw an elbow that would have looked Anderson Silva-esque had it landed. Godzilla does have power-lifter like thighs, so if he can get his hands/claws/whatever on Kong, he could use his lower-body strength to drive him back and put him on the ground. I don’t see this happening though because Kong is pretty damn quick for an animal that big and Godzilla moves like someone who just woke up. As soon as Godzilla tries that slow-ass lizard-lunge, Kong is going to move out of the way and probably hit him again. And to top all of this off, Godzilla can barely move his neck and that’s just inconvenient.
Godzilla: 1, Kong: 1
SPECIAL ABILITIES:
Here’s a fun fact: gorillas are one of the few species in the world that can use tools. How is this relevant? Kong has the ability to walk up in this thing with a weapon. He could very well rip the steeple off a building and use it like a bat or stand fifty feet back and chuck crap at Godzilla while hiding behind cover. It all depends on how clever this Kong is. There is one problem Kong might run into though: Godzilla can breathe a mix of fire and radiation. His atomic breath is his most famous trait and for good reason. In Godzilla, he opens up the MUTO’s mouth and puts his atomic breath down its neck which decapitates it and then throws its head like it’s a ball he just got done playing with. Godzilla could literally melt Kong’s face off if he wanted to. So I guess this is where we end the debate because I’m not about to say a gorilla that can throw stuff is more powerful than a monster that can cause a nuclear blast with its mouth.
Godzilla: 2, Kong: 1
In all honesty, there’s probably going to be a third monster in the movie that unites them in the middle of their fight and we won’t see a clear winner because the studio has to make everyone happy, but I’m giving Godzilla the advantage going into the movie.
