Stranger Things 3: End of Season Awards
It’s Stranger Things week!
All week long, we’ll be celebrating and analyzing the best show on TV!
Onto the awards!
MVP: Chief Hopper
This should come as a surprise to no one. Chief Hopper was this season’s funniest and most interesting character, finally shedding his protective layers and allowing himself to be more vulnerable… even if it was in the afterlife.
Think of the things Chief Hopper endured this season: Mike and Eleven making out constantly, being stood up, getting his ass beat over and over, being rejected by Joyce, driving miles out of his way to find a cherry Slurpee, and maybe dying or becoming a Russian prisoner. And he did all of this for the greater good of the world. Sure, he told Mike his nana was sick and maybe he was a little stubborn in his ways of doing things… and maybe he should’ve given Joyce more time to heal and grieve, but Hopper, like the rest of us humans, is not a perfect person. We all have room to improve, to change, to grow.
Sixth Man of the Year: Dustin Henderson
Literally everything about Dustin is perfect. He built a radio tower, led a charge against Russian soldiers, sang The Neverending Story theme song to his actually real girlfriend, watches My Little Pony, hangs with older friends and properly diagnosed Erica Sinclair as a big, giant NERD.
If Stranger Things wants to do a spin-off with Dustin and Steve, it may be the most watched television event in history. I could watch Steve think he’s the hero while Dustin does all the work for 19 hours straight. Move them out of Hawkins, have them live in New York and fight ghosts. Or go to Colorado and start a band of misfit teens to stop a Soviet invasion. Or hell, they could even travel back in time to save Doc Brown!
Rookie of the Year: Robin
It was between her and Alexei, but one person died and the other person infiltrated an underground Russian lab while also being the daughter of beloved icon, Ethan Hawke.
The only issue I take with Robin is that she’s exponentially cooler than Steve from the second she shows up on camera. THIS hilarious and sarcastic human was a loser in high school?? I don’t believe it. Robin oozes so much charm and charisma, Tammy Thompson can eat shit for eye balling Steve and not paying attention to our Rookie of the Year.
Most Improved: Billy
Billy starts out as a giant turd, just the way we left him last year. But when he turns on that Keifer Sutherland charm, you forget what a shithead he’s been since he arrived in Hawkins. Then you realize there actually is depth to this kid, including a tragic backstory. Then he musters every bit of strength he has to tell the Mind Flayer to fuck off before dying and apologizing to his sister, Max.
Also, Billy is an extremely good recruiter and fighter for the Mind Flayer. I felt the sense of danger each time this handsome fuck was fighting our beloved Hawkins gang. It’s too bad he’s dead, I would’ve really loved to see him have a Steve Harrington style turnaround.
Stranger Things All-Star Team
— Joyce Byers: Give me Joyce all day. She’s leveling up more and more each season and has found herself becoming a 2x All-Star. She’s our Point Gawd, the one you want to slice through the demons with surgical precision, the one that can think quickly on her feet.
— Billy: Yes, technically Billy got possessed 10 minutes into the season, but did you see the way that man battled for his soul? The way he was able to dispatch of 13 year old kids like it was nothing? How he was THROWN THROUGH A BRICK WALL AND BARELY PHASED. Yeah, bitch, give me Billy all day on this squad.
— Murray: UPSET! Murray joins the All-Star team for two reasons: He was the first one to suspect there was a Russian mole in Hawkins and he can speak Russian. He was able to maneuver down in the underground Soviet base with ease… although he did drop the ball when it came time to deliver the codes. For shame!
— Erica Sinclair: ANOTHER UPSET! Erica is exactly who you want on the squad, someone that can crawl through tight spaces and doesn’t scare easy. She knows her numbers and she knows how to negotiate anything. Give me the person that laughs in the face of danger.
— Nancy Wheeler: Nancy nabs her first All-Star team for a number of reasons: Putting up with Jake Busey’s dusty ass, breaking and entering the house of a woman she suspected of having a major alien rat problem, solving the story, emptying a clip into Billy’s car, and becoming a caring human for our 13 year old heroes. Nancy is sneakily the most badass of the cast, minus Eleven who doesn’t count because she has/had super powers. Nancy is who you want when shit goes down.
