For a relationship to be successful, it is equally important to know yourself as it is to know your partner. You need to know all your abilities as well as weaknesses and embrace them. You must be aware of the things that agonize you, make you happy or sad, and above all you need to love yourself for what and who you are.
Our lives and relationships can get out-of-control pretty fast if we are unaware of how and under what circumstances our emotions are triggered. Consciousness enables us to take responsibility for the status of our relationship and offer immediate and practical solutions for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Consciousness involves paying attention to your emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and actions.
Importance to Elevating Consciousness
It is hard to stress the importance the role of consciousness plays in manifesting a successful relationship. First of all, it is an established fact that your feelings reciprocate in relationship.
If you don’t love yourself, you are unlikely to receive it. If you are judgmental of yourself, you will be critical of your partner too, and so will they of you.
“It is important to know yourself and embrace yourself for what you are, not what you hope to become.”
With less self-awareness you become critical of all your actions. A judgmental nature can dominate your love life and consequently create troubled relationships.
It is difficult to ask for what we want and need in a relationship when we are not clear about those needs yourself. When you are less self-aware, it is easier to get defensive, or even offensive in your interactions or arguments. This can prove highly disastrous in any type of relationship.
“The better we know our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, the easier it will be to communicate our needs and wants in a rational and mature way, and this leads to purposeful relationships.”
Consciousness also impacts our moods. When we improve our awareness of the relationship between thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, it becomes easier to regulate our feelings.
For instance, if you are having an overwhelming week with piled-up files, you may be more prone to try to release your stress by having an argument with your partner. With more self-aware, you could focus more on handling your workload, rather than unloading your stress on your partner.
Consciousness gives you the power to be brave and make the necessary changes in yourself, in order to improve your life. When you don’t know yourself, you are more bullish about your personality and rarely bother to evolve as a person.
Awareness makes it possible for you to use change as an opportunity to elevate and transform towards your best self. This kind of transformation within, will help to attract the right kind of relationships.
How to Elevate Your Consciousness
The ability to be conscious and self-aware is one of the most essential yet difficult skills to develop. It’s challenging because it requires taking 100% responsibility and accountability for the outcomes in our life. But it is possible.
We can do this by journaling about our feeling and triggers. For instance, if you tend to feel mistrusting, angry, or defensive when specific events occur, take that into account and come up see if you’ve been someone in the past that was dishonest, or not authentic with others. Perhaps your fear is tied to guild and shame.
Conversely, if you frequently mistrust your partner, solely because someone else formerly abused your trust, you could use this affirmation when those old feelings arise. “This is a new relationship and I can change what happened in the past and improve my relationship by trusting”. This is only possible when you are willing to be conscious of the difference between the two situations.
“Without consciousness we often lump history into the present, and project the future without fully observing the here and now, causing us to make unfounded and poor assumptions that become self-fulfilling repeated patterns.”
You and your partner can help each other to be more conscious. When you are in a relationship, your partner becomes the mirror of your personality. You can observe yourself from a different perspective, you may see parts of you never seen before.
With this kind of consciousness, the relationship can serve as a vehicle for self-growth, for expansiveness. The surest way to elevate your consciousness is to observe how you perceive the behaviors of those you are in relationship with.
The things that get under your skin are red flags of aspects about yourself you’ve yet to come to grip with, accept, and transform. The things that cause you to think “I can’t believe they have the guts to do that”, are typically those traits you wish you had within yourself.
For example, someone who is very open, perhaps has little to no filters, might come across as obnoxious to an individual who may have some past they are ashamed of. This is because they wish they were freer to accept themselves and be themselves.
Relationships are not something to be handled in “autopilot”. We have to put some effort to make them work, just as we put effort into our careers our business, making music, or art. We need to look at relationships the way you would go about writing a blog, or a book — the goal is to create a profound love story.
“Love serves to be the nourishment for the rest of our life activities.”
In my episode of Rant & Grow with Monica Berg we talk about the secret to finding purposeful and rewarding love. She is the author of Fear Is Not an Option, and her recently best seller is titled: Rethink Love.
We spent time talking about the importance of elevating consciousness in a relationship, from the Disney fantasy to one of personal growth and friendship.
If you’ve been sitting on the fence about finally having a committed relationship or want some great tips on how to make the one you are in more meaningful, you’ll want to listen in to this episode.
Just click on the play button to listen to the podcast right here.
Originally published at tulliosiragusa.com on March 9, 2020.