What are Gender and Sexuality? How can they be Destroyed?

“The thing’s hollow —. it goes on forever —. and —. oh my God! —. it’s full of rude things!”

We here at Radical Splurge have decided that sexuality and gender have become too complex after some smart-arse worked out that there was something wrong with gender binary. During in our research we found an atom of pure gender and observed it, the resultant impact of the raw sexuality and concentrated gender was too powerful to be recorded directly but could be glimpsed in a reflection of an observer’s eye. One of our researchers went into shock for around 4 hours after glimpsing into their soul and finding they had deep seated repressed urges, they later stated that the effect was similar to that of drinking 3 pints or more. As we all know the best reaction to deep seated urges and identity revelations is to lock them deep DEEP DEEP AWAY WHERE THEY WON’T BE FOUND. This is best for both society and the individual as it will allow them to blindly follow social norms with only the crushing oppression of guilt lingering over them like a tormented shadow. Until Radical Splurge find some sort of scientific or psychological viewpoint to the contrary we shall continue to promote this course of action to avoid deviation from pre-set social norms.

In truth we do not know the method needed to destroy both gender and sexuality but we do know the key things needed are a toad, a block of stale Sugar Puffs and nails from both your little toes.

Originally published at radicalsplurge.blogspot.co.uk on February 19, 2015.