Lesbian Visibility Day: The nuanced and layered experiences of lesbians
April 26th is the day we celebrate Lesbian Visibility Day! Although the origins of this day are unclear, our research shares that the day started in 2008.
This day is an opportunity to commemorate how much queer women have accomplished for the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as, acknowledge the continued fight for lesbians who hold intersectional marginalized identities and their representation in politics, media, pop culture, and beyond.
Lesbian Visibility Day (LVD) honors a unique community of people who have been and are historically overlooked and underrepresented because they are both women and queer.
Not only are lesbians both women and queer — some may hold other marginalized identities such as race, religion, abilities, class, and more. This can create a layered and nuanced experience for women who hold varying marginalized identities and are also lesbians.
I’m excited to introduce you to Margherita Sgorbissa, someone who I consider a friend and ally. Margherita is originally from the north of Italy but now lives in Berlin. She is a Community Building Strategist & Consultant, Feminist Coach, and the founder of FairForce, a community building and organic growth boutique consultancy for impact-driven brands.
Margherita is also a lesbian and recently celebrated her wedding with her wife!
I’m honored and thrilled to introduce you to a wonderful friend, an inspiring person, and someone I truly believe lives out what it means to be values-driven and impact-driven.
Below, I’ve asked Margherita to share her experience as a lesbian living in Berlin, as well as, ways we can support and amplify lesbian visibility and rights.
Cassandra: How would you describe yourself to your 10-year-old self? This is a question that Dr. Fox asks our guests on the Let’s Talk About It podcast and I love the question, so I wanted to ask you the same.
Margherita (M): The 29-year-old Margherita has a lot of the 10-year-old Margherita. We’re the same in spirit, plus, today, some extra experience, wisdom, and independence.
The 29-year-old Margherita is creative, sensitive, playful, and reflective. Excited about life, takes things a little too seriously sometimes, is very careful about the people she chooses to be surrounded by and is loyal to her values.
The way I would describe myself to the 10-year-old Margherita is that Margherita is a woman who is not afraid to be who she is and to chase after her dreams.
C: I love that, thank you! So, today is Lesbian Visibility Day and I’d love to share your insight and experience with the Dr. Mega Consulting community to amplify lesbian visibility. How would you describe the relationship between lesbians and the queer community?
M: I guess the way I would describe the relationship between lesbians and the queer community is multilayered and entailing complexity.
Women loving women have long played a crucial part in the spectrum of identity politics that contributed to challenging heteronormative and patriarchal power dynamics in our societal structuring.
From an intersectional perspective, it is important to consider that lesbian women have, by nature, always carried two historically oppressed identity traits: being female and being homosexual. This condition has contributed, to some extent, to make women a further vulnerable category within the queer community.
However, some women who are lesbians have also contributed to creating ideological frictions within the queer community and generating problematic dynamics. On one hand, lesbians have historically been discriminated against not only for their sexual orientation but also for their gender and oftentimes for other identity traits like race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status. On the other hand, some women who are lesbians have used homosexuality as an identity experience to solidify the binary concept of gender and affirm a normative definition of a woman based on the sex-assigned-at-birth.
For example, there are groups of women with problematic positionings against the trans community, refusing to acknowledge the experience of trans women identifying as lesbians and excluding them from the lesbian community because they consider them “originally” men and still carrying “male privileges”. This idea is inherently transphobic and represents a very dark side within the spectrum of the lesbian and queer community, sadly.
In this sense, the same terms “lesbian” and ”gay” are being questioned, nowadays, because they are rooted in the binary concept of gender. Today, gender is experienced in a multitude and diverse ways, and people do not necessarily identify fully as women or fully as men. There are many nuances, non-binary identities, and a whole spectrum of possibilities within the gender identity that make it difficult for some people to define their sexual preferences and orientation with either the term “lesbian” or “gay”.
This is why, today, queer is a term I love and use a lot to define for myself, because it provides a more comprehensive, fluid, intersectional, and inclusive possibility of definition, creating space for multiple experiences to be part of the same community.
C: Thank you for your thoughtful answer that shares with us all of the layers and nuances within the lesbian and queer community as a whole. Were there any barriers that you have faced/overcome as a lesbian in a misogynist and sexist world?
M: Especially after getting married, I encountered a lot of skepticism and difficulties from some people to be able to acknowledge my partner as my wife. When I publicly refer to Laura as my wife and I say it loud, or when people ask me about my marital status (e.g. in public offices or for bureaucratic purposes) some people (mostly middle-aged men) freeze, stare at me, or even ask me to repeat again what I said.
They assume I am married to a man, I have a boyfriend, or when I say partner they think it’s a male partner. When I unpack their assumptions, they act surprised, almost disturbed, or like I just made a funny joke.
These moments constantly remind me that my marriage, relationship, and my identity are still not “the norm” and need to be extra “explained” or even justified sometimes.
C: It’s always surprising to me when we unpack assumptions from others about our sexuality — almost as if it were a joke, just like you said! In terms of family law, what support do you believe lesbians need more of?
For lesbians who wish to grow a family together, there should be more straightforward systems and ways to be fully and equally recognized as mothers, no matter how the women choose to have their babies.
It is still absurdly difficult, in some cases and countries, for women having kids together to be naturally recognized as parents. This is a form of institutional discrimination still embedded in the family laws across many countries, showing that heterosexual and patriarchal dynamics still dictate the way our society and institutions make laws and set standards.
C: On a more personal note, where have you felt most supported as a lesbian?
M: I am lucky enough to say that I have felt most supported by my family.
My parents, my sister, brother, my grandparents, and the whole family have been always unconditionally accepting and happy about my relationship. They never made a big deal about my same-sex relationship and they always make me feel like my love life is perfectly normal. This has been the greatest support and safety I could have asked for.
C: I’m so happy that your family has been extremely supportive and that you feel safe to be able to express your love and that your love life is perfectly normal. That’s amazing. In terms of your professional life, how do you think workplaces can create a better sense of belonging for lesbians?
M: Workplaces should focus more on building a culture of explicit and proactive inclusivity. They should set stronger foundations of acceptance in the organization and start with simple steps like including this level of inclusivity into their processes and policies, making sure to acknowledge the experience of lesbians, and including them in their day-to-day operations (e.g. HR forms, benefits, etc.).
They should promote education and ensure that everyone in the company understands the importance of avoiding assumptions, rejecting discrimination, and behaving respectfully toward every individual’s identity and private spheres.
C: I completely agree about building a culture of explicit and proactive inclusivity. Something we always share at Dr. Mega Consulting is that small steps, although small, is always so important to take every single day to create sustainable change and impact. My last question for you is what gives you hope?
M: New generations give me hope. They are so NOT afraid to show up as they are, to reclaim their authentic identity, spread their message across social media and public spaces, affirm their nuanced identities, and be proud of them.
I am so grateful and hopeful for Gen Z and the next to come, to be able to make what once was considered the exception something extremely normal, almost obvious.
Thank you, so much, Margherita for sharing your experience so open and honestly — truly embodying one of our core values of being #radicallyhuman. It’s been a pleasure to have you share your insights with me and the Dr. Mega Consulting community and I’m honored that you chose to do so!
If you’re interested in learning more about Lesbian Visibility Day and becoming an engaged ally — we’ve linked a few resources to help you understand the layered and nuanced experiences of lesbians from intersecting identities. We invite you to take a moment to view these resources and learn more about the history of lesbians within the queer community and how we can continue to increase their visibility and amplify their voices!
View the resources below:
- Lesbian Visibility Day: Why visibility is so valuable in the workplace by Avanade
- Have you heard of International Lesbian Visibility Day? by NHS Confederation
- Lesbian Campaigners tell us what Lesbian Visibility Day Means to them by PinkNews
- UN committee rules that criminalisation of same-sex intimacy between women is a human rights violation
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Looking for support to co-create belonging in your company, organization, or community? Let’s see how we can weave the golden thread of belonging throughout everything you do. Schedule a discovery call with Dr. Mega Consulting to see how we can work together: https://calendly.com/dr-mega-consulting/discovery
