Can India Ever Stop Being a Patriarchal Society?
Patriarchy Is a Culture in India
India, the country which is known to be holy, is a highly patriarchal country. Being a woman who is in her early 20s and living in India, who is exposed to western society via TV, books, and social media, I feel claustrophobic. I believe I don’t belong here. But that is not the case. It is the people and their ignorant behaviour.
Patriarchy runs in the blood of Indians. I see it every day in my household. The father is the head of the family because he earns the bread to feed everyone. Yes, it is true that he is the one who pays but that doesn’t mean he should dominate the household. We live in patriarchy which makes me sick.
What Makes Patriarchy Normal in India?
It is us, the women of this country, who have normalized patriarchy in our daily lives. A mother teaches her daughter to fulfil her husband’s demands. We are taught to do whatever is asked of us by our mothers and grandmothers. It needs to stop at YOU! When her son stays out late, a mother stays up until he comes back because someone has to serve him dinner. But when the daughter stays out late, the mother would question her character. Most mothers say, “You are a woman, behave like one”.
It is the fault of our great-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mothers. It is wrong to be unjust. But it is even worse to not fight back. It is all about marriage in the end.
Marriage is the basis of patriarchy in India. Marriage is not a fusion of two souls (or families). It is about a woman leaving her whole life behind to take up the responsibilities of another family and literally being a servant. The views on marriage should be changed. I think it would be a start.
Can India Ever Stop Being a Patriarchal Society?
India can stop being a patriarchal society. But it is going to be the most difficult mission to accomplish. Even today, women in a household run behind their husbands helping them get ready for work as one does on the first day of her kid’s school. “Fetch the tie, the shoes too, what about my lunch? I’m getting late because of you!” Women face this every day in a household being a housewife. It happens to women who work too.
No matter how busy the female is, she has to stop whatever she is doing to fulfil the demands of the male. It is ridiculous how some men behave like newborn babies. No, not ridiculous. I guess sad is the right word.
How Can We End the Patriarchal Culture of India?
It all starts with YOU! Start teaching the men in your house to use their privilege and fetch things they need themselves. Teach them your importance in the household. Just earning the bread is not enough. A woman does so much in a day that no one notices. And she never gets appreciated for it.
You have to speak for yourself. Make your importance known. You are not a servant. You are a member of your family. And you don’t deserve to be treated like a servant or someone inferior to them.
I cannot change people’s thoughts. I cannot change their views. But I sure can start with my family. Like Boom Shikha said, “At least our parents have the excuse of ignorance. What excuse do you have, besides laziness, and inertia?”
If you want to change the world, you have to start with yourself because you are a part of it. I introduced my little brother to western TV shows that would help broaden his views on equality. I would teach him how he could be a better person if he did things for himself and not trouble others. I made him understand how important it is to be independent. I can say that patriarchy stops at my father in my family.
Changes to Make in Yourself
Speak whenever you see a man trying to be dominant. It applies to men too. Speak up whenever a male in the family asks a female to fetch a spoon for him when they’re at the dinner table. Tell men to “behave like men” (that they brag so much about). Support other women when they take a stand for themselves. Take what you want because no one else will give it to you. Be the change and help our country to become a better place.
