From Fear and Prejudice to Spells and Acceptance: Coocoo’s Journey
A Grandmother’s Tale of Self-Discovery
After all the ponderin’, it is time to introduce myself. My name is Susan, though most know me as Coocoo. Let me explain. When my 16-year-old granddaughter was a baby, she couldn’t say Sue Sue (short for Susan). It came out Coocoo. It stuck. Hard. For 16 years now, I’ve been Coocoo to all 4 of my grandchildren, their friends, my friends, and even my own kids. It fits me well. Who knew she was so clever so early?
This is my journey, and I invite you to join me. Together, we can make a difference. Let’s be the light that brings us out of the darkness! Who’s with me?
I was raised in North Carolina in a Conservative Christian family. My father was in the Army, and much of my childhood was spent living in Japan and Okinawa. Yes, I was and always will be an Army brat. I was an only child, so I entertained myself with books and music. I never was part of a specific group, but I lived and went to school with people of all colors and religions. When we returned to the States, I was a young teen and found it difficult to fit in anywhere. It wasn’t until years later that I could recognize this as a gift, one which broadened my mind and gave me experiences many people don’t have.
My parents and extended family were very prejudiced and conservative. Christianity was the only religion they accepted, and white was the only color of people that they deemed had values. I disagreed but said nothing at the time. I remember when I divorced my first husband, an aunt begged me to stay with him, warning me that it was a sin against God. Not only did he finish his education while I worked, but he also enjoyed the pleasures of other women. (It was ironic that her son divorced his wife a few years later, and suddenly God changed the rules).
I was devastated and then headed for hell at the same time.
All of this made me question and doubt my faith. I was devastated and then headed for hell at the same time. What does one do to keep from pissing off God? Do I really want to worship God? Does He really love me? I asked myself all of these questions and more.
Fast-forward many years later, and I have remarried with two kids. We had a crystal hanging in the kitchen window that would bounce rainbows of light everywhere when you spun it. The kids loved it and would dance in the rainbows, but it was me who wanted to know what else they could do. This is how I learned about mediums and how they use crystals for healing. I bought a few books and started reading. There was a lot of fear in the beginning. I thought I would get struck by lightning when the first book I picked up mentioned a “God and a Goddess.” I slapped that sucker shut so fast. This could piss off God, and off to hell I go. They say reading and thinking is a dangerous thing. I guess that’s why there are so many banned books.
Then I started ponderin’…If there is a male and female in plants, animals, and humans, maybe there is a Goddess. I kept reading. I grew and softened as I learned more about acceptance and surrender. I had bought all the rules and regulations of organized religion when I was a teen, but now I realize it wasn’t for me anymore. That first time someone asked if I was a Christian, and I answered “no,” was liberating. It meant my soul could finally break free from the chains of fear and prejudice that had kept me bound for so long.
I saw a bumper sticker once that said, “Jesus would slap the sh$% out of you.” It hit home with me. Would Jesus approve of all the hatred, condescension, judgment, and fear many of His followers shared? After praying, thinking, and reading more, I concluded that He would not. I let go of the fear of hell and started concentrating on how lil’ ole me could change things. In my opinion, it begins by changing me.
I no longer believe in or fear hell. It’s a place that keeps people from growing and thinking — one restricted from freedom. Instead, I’ve tapped into my inner witch! I’m learning how to use the power of crystals, the Earth, and the moon for protection and comfort. I do so responsibly and with respect for all people.
This journey has been liberating in many ways. I’m grateful that I’ve found acceptance within myself, which allowed me to accept others despite our differences. It’s taken years to get here, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Fear and prejudice will always exist, but I’m determined not to let it control me anymore. We all have the power to make this world a better place if we are willing to open our minds and hearts. It’s time for us to rise above such darkness and shine!
