Love Without Boundaries
An Open-Hearted Message from a Southern Grandmother
It’s late, and everyone is asleep, but I have something heavy on my heart that I must share. A few years ago, I saw a shirt on Etsy that said, “Nobody should live in a closet.” That has remained in my mind and my heart. Tonight is the night I share. In this blog, I will speak from my heart and pray that it touches at least one person.
A few years ago, a member of my family expounded her views on people in the LGBTQ+ community. The conversation went something like this:
“They are bound for hell,” she said.
“How do you think ‘they’ got here?” I asked.
Blank stare.
“Were they beamed from a starship?” I asked.
“No, that would be ridiculous,” she replied.
“Okay, let me think. Maybe you plant a seed, and they grow?” I suggested.
“No, that is ridiculous, too,” she said.
“Aren’t ‘they’ born of a woman?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied.
“Then that makes them a child of God,” I said.
‘Nuf said.
On my 50th birthday, I was treated with a gift I’ll never forget. My son, daughter, a bunch of her friends, and her boss took me to a gay bar in Atlanta. They were hosting a drag show that night. I’ve never been treated with so much respect in my life. Her boss told them it was my birthday so I had to stand up in front of all these people. I got so many warm hugs. I couldn’t help but feel the love and happiness in that room! But I knew many of them would have to hide who they love from family, friends, and coworkers the next day. It hurt my heart, and it made me angry.
I made sure that when I had my children, the most important thing for them was to know that I loved them unconditionally. Someone asked me what I would do if my son were gay. I told them that as long as he was happy and his heart was beating, then I would be satisfied. You see, I taught my children to love without boundaries. I taught them that love multiplies. My grandchildren are learning the same lessons. I call them “Love Lessons.”
It seems so simple to me. “Against gay marriage? Don’t have one.” As a mother, I will love my children no matter what. There are no restrictions or reservations on that love. It’s wholehearted and genuine. I cannot for the life of me understand a mother turning her back on her child. As long as I have breath, I will be the rock my son and daughter can always count on. I may disapprove, but I will never judge.
I will never understand how anyone can go to a church and sit and listen to someone talk about LGBTQ people as though they are not worthy. I have heard churches holding votes to decide if someone gay can join your congregation. Give me a freaking break. These people are too loving and caring to attend your church. If they did, they would show you what love and respect looks like. Perhaps people are afraid that they will discover that they aren’t that different from anyone else except those they love.
Children are not hurt in any way when exposed to diverse types of people. Quite the opposite. The God you worship and His son, Jesus, preach love. I was raised in a Christian home and attended church. Love was the most potent message. But now? No. I want to avoid being affiliated with any institution that sets up rules and guidelines for who is good enough. My relationship with God and Jesus is my business. I chose love. 💖
I have met so many LGBTQ+ people. Many of them are my heart. It seems many of these individuals carry pain and scars from family members, school classmates, and the preachers at the church they attended. They are deep, awful pains they carry daily.
If you have made an LGBTQ person feel like less of a human being, or if you sit on Sunday and listen to a man or woman tell you who to believe is good enough, I ask you this: Doesn’t your heart already tell you that? Do you want to add to the pain and trauma? Just think about it. How would you feel if someone treated you that way? Maybe you are a person who is so entrenched in the teachings you’ve heard all your life that you lack compassion. What is wrong with y’all? Could you open your heart and mind and let them exist in our world?
Just remember — love is the most powerful weapon, so why not use it? And don’t forget, if y’all can’t say anything nice, it is better just to shut your mouth!
