ADHD: Embracing the overwhelm of travel in big cities
I find myself in Saigon, with a week planned to be here before jetting back to Australia. I’m carting a suitcase around with some of my valuables too, which is a little different compared to 9 years ago backpacking this chaotic city.
Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City, as its preferred name, is a hustling bustling sprawl of around 9 million people. If you’re from the west or a lesser populated place, it can feel absolutely manic, and put you in a state of anxiety if unprepared for chaos.
I’ve traveled here before, at the spritely age of 21, solo backpacking my way round SE Asia, so I’m a little more ready for it.
I got a little lost earlier attempting to navigate the roads amongst a sea of motorbikes, and I felt a little overwhelmed, alert and wary. But like many situations, I’ve learnt to embrace my anxiety with a dampening effect — the queen of self soothing if you will.
With age, I have noticed myself to become more alert and more aware; something I can only attribute to maternal instinct and too much time in an orderly country with a far smaller population.
So this week I’m wondering, how do us adult ADHDers cope in big cities? And moreso chaotic ones like many in the East? With our senses on high alert, a lack of familiar structure and constant stimulation…
District 1: It’s the overstimulation
I find myself lost in a chaotic crossover, packed with fast moving traffic that looked exactly the same as the last three. There’s intermittent beeping, ever-changing strong smells in the streets, wandering dogs and a lucid grey atmosphere. Wires entangled all around, shopfronts, markets and stalls. I’m aghast, but become indifferent; an apparent unbothered tourist who knows her way around these parts. But deep down, behind the blocking out of everything, everywhere, I’m very overstimulated.
Overstimulation is a common occurrence for the ADHDer. We have sensory processing differences to the neuro typical, meaning chaotic and foreign environments can be pretty overwhelming. Coming from a quiet town or neighbourhood into a frantic city can be a shock, with loud noises, strong smells and a sea of people. It’s a geography full of distraction, and not one easy to navigate when overstimulated.
District 2: Masking for survival
I say, ‘it can’t be that bad, I will find my way back soon’.
Me to myself, 2023
You may have read about masking before (see my previous posts for reference). As a quick explanation, it’s a cover up and way to blend in and cope in a situation, social or otherwise, to appear ‘normal’ when in reality you feel much different inside.
Masking can apply to situations in travel too, like appearing calm when you’re on the wrong bus, but internally panicking; for fear of others judgement. Or coming across a strange insect bite in an unknown territory and ruminating on its potential dangers but acting fine around other travelers (many ADHD individuals also suffer health anxiety).
Though masking is not usually recommended throughout life, due to covering up your own true nature and self out of shame or insecurity, it can be a means for survival in such situations as travel.
The point is to learn how to self soothe internally. A great way to do this, is by practicing mindful thinking throughout the day.
Take time to talk to yourself and check in at regular intervals. Imagine being at breakfast and taking a moment to savour your delicious meal, become aware of the coffee as you sip it, and remind yourself of its pleasant effects.
When situations become stressful, like getting lost in the streets, I take a moment to stop in a quieter spot and check in with myself. I find humour in the situation, like imagining telling friends about the ‘time I got lost in Saigon’. I reframe the situation, find the funny or lightness in the event I find my centre within. A sort of grounding technique. I say, ‘it can’t be that bad, I will find my way back soon’.
District 3: Give yourself a break
I know we all want to fit in somewhat, most of the time. But as I’ve gotten older, since my diagnosis and a long bout of COVID, I’ve changed my way of thinking and life philosophy somewhat.
Living with fullness, to ones real self, with a medium awareness of how I’m feeling and thinking has led me to living with lesser apology (old habits die hard). So, in terms of shame and embarassment for not being an ‘authentic traveler’ or being involved in the sometimes one upmanship that comes from the travel scene (ikyk), I do what I want or need most of the time.
Since releasing music,I found that people will always judge, want to be a critic or self project to externalise insecurities. It is the human way, the old crabs in the bucket that held us back for a millenia. You’ve just got to do it anyway, and block out the rest.
Want to stay in a hotel by yourself over a hostel? Consider it done. Need regular breaks to recouperate? I’ll have that KitKat times three thank you very much. Prefer a leisurely time over cramming in all the sites? I’ll grab my towel.
What I’m saying is, take regular breaks if you need them. Plan your trip in a spread and do you, in comfort and alignment with your senses, your stimulation levels and your needs. Sometimes you’ll need rest more than the average tourist or traveler, and that’s ok. You live for yourself, not everyone else.
District 4: Exposure therapy
This last one can be taken with a grain of salt. As a non psychologist, do not take my advice in leui of professionals, rather take it as you will.
Exposure therapy is the practice of exposing oneself to places, things or fears over time, little by little to become less afraid and anxious. It is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to defeat that cloud of doubt and building anxiety that becomes a block in the way of living life.
We all have it at times, some more than others. It’s our survival mechanism afterall, the thoughts that tell us to be safe and stop before we get killed! But, many thoughts can be over the top, and unnecessary. And the more we feed into them, we give them a greater supply of power.
I have been fortunate enough to be raised with parents who taught me not to fear everything. That level of conditioning led me to embrace travel alone, a boldness to talk to strangers, to make friends easily, to get buses, trains and planes alone since a teen. However, even if you were raised with an overly anxious parent who taught you to fear the worst, you can still overcome this way of conditioning, bit by bit.
Using exposure, take yourself to places you’d love to go, and try it with small steps first. Bring a friend with you and make it an adventure, or a challenge. Bring some subtle ear plugs or good sunnies if the environment is a bit much sensory wise, to help cope.
Again, this is not for everyone, and symptoms vary from person to person. Only you can get to know your triggers, limitations and sense of self.
But, if you live for adventure, or crave the excitement of big cities unknown to you, the novelty, the foreign, the enticing cultures, then embrace it! For the sake of travel, for the sake of living life and for the sake of all that is within you.
This was from an article on Diamond in a Haystack, for more like this click here.
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