I Asked Mom What She’d Want Me to Avoid as a First-Time Mom
And Here’s Why Her Words Resonate So Deeply with Me
In the warmth of my mother’s embrace, our bond transcends the ordinary; she’s not just a parent but my lifelong confidante. Teenage clashes, though inevitable, never left scars as we swiftly found common ground.
Recently, as I shared my dreams of motherhood, a gentle curiosity led me to ask her, “If there’s one thing you’d change about your journey, what would it be? Anything you’d like me not to carry forward?”
Her eyes met mine, and a tender smile graced her lips. “Don’t lose your cool with your little one easily,” she whispered, her words laden with a lifetime’s wisdom. “Everything else can wait, and everyone who matters will understand the delay.”
Her response wasn’t surprising; it echoed the lessons learned from her imperfect but incredible journey of motherhood. In the hustle of daily life, there were moments when her patience waned, and words were spoken with unintended harshness. Yet, her love always prevailed, expressed through later apologies and comforting gestures.
Recalling my childhood, I remember tiptoeing around minor transgressions, fearing the consequences of imperfection. The spilled milk, the less-than-perfect scores, the occasional tardiness — all minor incidents that loomed large in our young minds. While I knew her love would mend the wounds, a seed of apprehension took root.
As I grew older, a subtle shift occurred. Avoiding confrontation became a defense mechanism, a way to sidestep potential disappointment or disapproval. Regrettably, I sometimes found myself veering into the territory of people-pleasing, a habit that extended beyond familial interactions.
Reflecting on these experiences, I recognize the profound impact they’ve had. A desire to keep loved ones happy led to a habit of suppressing my true opinions and desires. It was a subtle erosion of authenticity, a path I don’t wish for my daughter.
In raising her, I aspire to create an environment where openness reigns supreme — a space where wants, needs, and thoughts are embraced without judgment. My fervent wish is for her never to resort to lies, to feel secure in sharing her truths rather than crafting stories out of fear.
A caring, loving mother, I’ve come to understand, is not as quick to anger as the anxious mind perceives. If only I could go back to my younger self, I’d offer a reassuring hug, urging her to speak her truth, share her feelings, and express her opinions without fear of judgment.
Now, with a mini-me by my side, I am committed to nurturing a spirit of chirpy confidence within her. I want her to navigate the world unapologetically, embracing her true self — even if, at times, it differs from what mama might think.
For, in the end, it’s not just about raising a little one; it’s about nurturing a spirit that dances to the rhythm of their own heartbeat, echoing the melody of self-love and acceptance.
