Let’s Talk About Authoritative Parenting
Path to Nurturing Resilient Hearts
When I first found out I was expecting and was about to embark on the incredible journey of motherhood, my mind was a whirlwind of excitement and anxiety. I was thrilled at the prospect of becoming a parent, yet equally apprehensive, wondering if I’d make the right choices.
Having always wanted to be a mother, I was clear about the kind of parent I aspired to be — the approachable one. I’ve always been known as a great listener and a trusted confidant among my friends, and I wanted to be the same for my future children. I wanted my kids to know that they could always come to me to share their thoughts, worries, desires, secrets, and dreams. In our home, there’d be no room for judgment or harsh punishments.
However, it was equally imperative for me not to allow my children to steer the wheel entirely. I was determined not to give in to their every whim just to see them light up with joy. If their desires veered toward actions that could potentially harm themselves or others, present or future, I knew it was crucial to draw a firm line. There would be unwavering “no’s” in place — like limited sugar intake, restricted screen time, and other essential boundaries to safeguard their well-being.
Recently, while chatting with a friend about parenting styles, she used the term “authoritative” parenting, and I hesitated, saying, “No, that’s not what we should do.” She chuckled and responded, “You might be mixing it up with authoritarian parenting.”
This prompted me to do some research, and what I discovered about authoritative parenting resonated deeply with my instincts. Looking back, I realize that my lack of research on parenting styles stemmed from my unwavering clarity about the kind of parent I aspired to be.
Here’s why I am all in for authoritative parenting
Before delving into why I wholeheartedly support authoritative parenting, let’s clarify what this style entails.
Unlike authoritarian parenting, which is characterized by strict rules, little flexibility, and an emphasis on obedience, authoritative parenting strikes a balance between love and boundaries. It’s a parenting style that encourages open communication, nurtures independence, and fosters a warm, supportive environment.
One of the key aspects of authoritative parenting is setting clear and reasonable expectations while also actively engaging with your child. It’s about being a guiding presence in their life rather than an imposing one. And as a girl mom, I believe that this approach will empower her to develop into a responsible and confident individual.
So, why do I firmly stand by authoritative parenting? Here are a few reasons, along with some personal examples that might resonate with other parents:
- Open Communication: Authoritative parents prioritize open and honest communication. By maintaining a strong line of dialogue with your child, you create an atmosphere where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. When my daughter is older, I want her to know that she can discuss any issue with me, no matter how big or small. For instance, if she ever faces a dilemma at school or among her friends, I hope she’ll feel confident approaching me for guidance.
- Nurturing Independence: Authoritative parenting encourages kids to develop independence while still having a reliable support system. As my little one grows, I want to give her room to explore and make age-appropriate decisions. For instance, letting her choose her own clothes (even if it doesn’t always match perfectly) fosters a sense of autonomy, helping her learn and grow through her choices.
- Setting Clear Boundaries: Just because authoritative parenting encourages open communication doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. It’s about setting clear, reasonable boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them. For example, when it comes to limited sugar intake, currently I’m controlling it as I prep her meals and in future I plan to explain to my daughter the importance of a balanced diet, helping her understand why we can’t indulge in sweets all the time. This not only promotes healthy habits but also builds trust.
- Consistent Guidance: With authoritative parenting, consistency is key. I want to be a reliable source of guidance and support for my child, offering consistency in my expectations and reactions. This consistency will help create a stable and secure environment where my daughter knows what to expect and how to navigate various situations.
A Thought to Ponder
In the journey of parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and it’s essential to be open to adjustments as you learn and grow together with your child. Authoritative parenting may be my chosen path, but it’s essential to remember that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
The key is to be flexible, responsive, and always open to evolving your parenting style to suit your child’s needs and personality.
As for me, I look forward to fostering a strong bond with my daughter, one that’s built on trust, open communication, and a balance of love and boundaries. And who knows, maybe in a few years, she’ll be the one teaching me valuable lessons about the world, just as I aim to teach her about life!
Because in the end, it’s not just about raising children; it’s about nurturing souls, fostering dreams, and weaving a tapestry of love that lasts a lifetime.
