You Have to Take Care of Yourself: Part Ten The Top 10 Things I Wish I’d Known On My Child’s Mental Health Journey

Jennifer Ulie, PhD
Raising a Beautiful Mind
3 min readFeb 8, 2024
Photo Credit: netrun78 from Getty Images

From a mother who never imagined her once squirrely and sweet six-year-old would face such tribulations as an adolescent, I wish to share the lessons I’ve learned, the opportunities I wish had been presented to me, and the essential navigation tips that might not have prevented our situation but would have undoubtedly eased our journey.

If you suspect even a mild concern about your child’s mental health, please hold onto this list. You might not be ready to tackle it just yet, but if you’re reading this, it means you’re aware, and awareness is the first step. As a mother who was once not ready to face these realities, I implore you to save this list.

I have learned the brutally hard way that if I do not prioritize my own wellness then I am not good to anyone else including my children.

Raising a child with complex needs wasn’t the only catalyst for my health plummeting but it was one of the many things that I thought I was making a priority as I gradually lost myself and my health. I gained 60 pounds, wasn’t sleeping, my bloodwork was skyrocketing in all of the wrong ways, I was irritable, and felt like a complete shell of myself. I was no good to anyone because I wasn’t being good to myself.

Parenting a child with mental health needs can be incredibly rewarding but equally challenging. Remember to seek support for yourself, be it in the form of support groups, therapy, or simply talking to friends and family. Your well-being is integral to your child’s success.

I have come to understand that taking care of myself isn’t an act of luxury but anecessity. It is akin to the instruction given on an airplane to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. I need to ensure that my cup is filled so I can tend to my child’s needs from a place of strength, patience, and resilience.

If you are a parent or caregiver, you know that these little people count on you for everything from unconditional love to survival and everything in between. I do not have the luxury of tapping into parenthood when it’s convenient, and quite honestly, rarely do things happen at convenient moments.

We are like batteries that only have so much energy to give and when things are in overdrive we are zapped of our energy twice as quickly.

Also like batteries we need ample time and space to recharge ideally not while being zapped of our energy at the same time. We can also do damage to our batteries when we are consistently trying to take energy when there is nothing left to take.

Over the next few weeks join me in this series where I share each of the things I wish I would have known to hopefully help someone else along their journey.

--

--

Jennifer Ulie, PhD
Raising a Beautiful Mind

2x Founder, CEO, Motivational Speaker, Author, Advocate & Geek ~all things mental health justice, helping systems & parents of children w/ mental health needs❤️