Book Review of Labor Day: True Birth Stories by Today’s Best Women Writers

I recently finished Labor Day: True Birth Stories by Today’s Best Women Writers

. A collection of stories about the authors’ labor and birth experiences, it was very therapeutic and meditative. I came away more at peace with my own experiences.

I didn’t give birth the way I had wanted or envisioned, and the same was true for most of the women who wrote the stories in this book. The differences and similarities between all of these birth stories and what I experienced was helpful for reconciling my own disappointments and doubts. Did I do something wrong? Was I not strong enough somehow? It’s easier to put those doubts aside and recognize that sometimes, shit just happens. Maybe there was something I could have done, but analyzing it over and over won’t make me feel better or help me next time (if there is a next time), and letting go of those doubts will be better for me now.

No matter how smoothly or badly each birth went, the experience was transformative. There is nothing in the world like being in labor and giving birth. You face your own mortality, and there is this pressure that things must be done exactly “right” (have an unmedicated birth, have the baby hear the “right first words, or whatever it may be) or else the baby isn’t going to succeed in life. This seems like one of the greatest superstitious beliefs we as a society may be encouraging. Sure, having a really terrible labor can cause physical damage to the child, like if the cord gets wrapped around the baby and cuts off airflow. But, a traumatic birth can just be a bad memory that cause no lasting harm to the child. Having a perfect birth does not lead to a perfect child, and reading these birth experiences made me much happier with my daughter’s birth and the ordeal our family went through to bring her home. Despite a bad labor experience and her spending three weeks in the NICU, she’s a normal baby now. A baby who is growing, babbling, and all that I can ask for in a daughter.

I don’t know that I would recommend this book to someone who is currently pregnant since it does relate negative as well as positive experiences, but I highly recommend it to women who have given birth, especially if you need, like I did, to reconcile what you had wanted with what actually happened.