Feeding Frustrations and Joys

When my daughter turned six months old, I started introducing her to solids. Things haven’t been perfect. She certainly hasn’t had the polite demeanor of an adult, cleanly eating everything I’ve put in front of her. What a miracle it would be if she would calmly pick up her spoon and be as coordinated as an adult. Also, how boring that would be. It’s a lot more fun to watch her learning process, which involves getting food all over her face, hands, clothes, highchair, and floor. One of our dogs in particular is very fond of her meal times and seems to think that the messier her learning style is, the better. Learning is delicious, for all of us some days.

Although her meal times are usually fun for me last night’s dinner was not one of the more pleasurable experiences.

My daughter was acting hungry early, so I tried to feed her dinner early. She wanted none of it and was very unhappy, very clearly seeming to want her bottle rather than the solid food. I got her out of her highchair (and the many straps and snaps that has), fed her a couple ounces from the bottle, and then put her back in the highchair (more clicks, moving her arms under straps). Moving an infant is very time and labor intensive, even for these little things.

During this second feeding attempt, my daughter was still unhappy. I want my daughter to have pleasant meal experiences, so I don’t fight her if she doesn’t want to eat. I try a few times, certainly, just to make sure that she’s communicating what I think she’s communicating, but I don’t try to sneak peas into her mouth if she doesn’t seem to want the peas. So, I took her out of her highchair yet again. I was almost in tears due to frustration at not understanding why she wasn’t enjoying things, and she had some actual tears.

After this second attempt at dinner, though, I had these very reasonable thoughts cross my mind:

• What am I doing wrong that she doesn’t want to transition from milk to solids?
• What is she’s developmentally stunted in this regard? How do I fix that right now?
• This is the dreadful beginning of a long, frustrating pattern. It will never end…
• I’m an incompetent mother.
• Why did I think I could be handle being a parent?
• I need a drink.

It was time for both of us to take a break.

I fed her some more from the bottle and let her have some time in other room to wiggle on an activity mat. She filled her diaper during this time, so after changing her diaper, I decided that I was a glutton for punishment and wanted to try dinner a third time. I just didn’t want to end the day on such a negative note.

And I’m glad that I tried again. She really (finally) enjoyed herself. She loved manipulating the spoon into her mouth (with half of the food dropped on the clothes), touching the food, and actually using the spoon to get the food into her mouth. She liked eating. That warmed my heart and made it all worthwhile.

Her not enjoying the first couple tries at dinner don’t seem to have been because she was really refusing solids. She just needed to have a bowel movement before she was comfortable enough to eat. What a simple thing, and yet, it was critical to dinner success. Now I know for future dinners what the problem may be if she behaves the same way. Meal times seem to be a learning experience for her as much as for me, I suppose.

About Starting Solids

Signs that an infant is ready to start solids:

• Slowed weight gain
• Enjoying putting objects into his/her mouth (toys, book edges, etc.)
• Starting to sit up
• Waking less at night

Introducing solids too early has been linked to problems like increased risks for diseases like adult-onset celiac disease, eczema, and obesity (Kuo, 2011). Despite some people believing that starting infants on solid food earlier helps them sleep through the night, that doesn’t seem to be true. Keeping a child on breastmilk or formula seems to be better for the child’s health.

Sources and Further Reading:

• American Academy of Pediatrics.”Switching to Solid Foods.” HealthyChildren.org. 2014. Web. 9 Sept 2014.
• American Academy of Pediatrics. “Many Moms Not Following Expert Advice on When to Give Solid Foods to Babies.” American Academy of Pediatrics. 25 Mar 2013. Web. 9 Sept 2014.
• Kelly, Teresa. “What To Do And How To Do It When Introducing Solids.” World Of Irish Nursing & Midwifery 21.6 (2013): 41–42. CINAHL with Full Text. Web. 9 Sept. 2014.
• Kuo, Alice, et al. “Introduction Of Solid Food To Young Infants.” Maternal & Child Health Journal 15.8 (2011): 1185–1194. CINAHL with Full Text. Web. 9 Sept. 2014.
• McCarthy, Claire. “Your Top Food Questions.” Parenting 18.8 (2004): 90–98. Health Source — Consumer Edition. Web. 9 Sept. 2014.
• Salomonsson, Björn, and Rolf Sandell. “Maternal Experiences And The Mother–Infant Dyad’S Development: Introducing The Interview Of Mother’S Experiences (I-ME).” Journal Of Reproductive & Infant Psychology 30.1 (2012): 21–50. Academic Search Complete. Web. 9 Sept. 2014.
• Zero to Three. “Healthy from the Start.” Zero to Three. 2014. Web 9 Sept 2014.