It’s Worth Focusing on My Own Happiness

I’ve been having a really hard time making myself happy the past few months, possibly because of postpartum anxiety issues, and I feel guilty consciously spending time of myself and my happiness rather than doing something “useful.” Seeing scientific research that notes how happiness has a long-term effect an individual’s health, a couple’s marriage, etc. helps me mentally accept that my happiness is worth investing in.

Consider this headline: “A wife’s happiness is more crucial than her husband’s in keeping marriage on track.” Now savor the summary: “When it comes to a happy marriage, a new study finds that the more content the wife is with the long-term union, the happier the husband is with his life no matter how he feels about the nuptials.” Lovely. Just lovely. I love science.

So what if the laundry isn’t all done? So what if there’s dust in my house or the yard isn’t immaculate? I am doing everything I can to take care of my family and myself.

Putting into practice the idea of prioritizing my own happiness, I set aside a couple days this week to not work but still took my daughter to daycare like normal. One morning I focused on cleaning part of the house and steaming the carpets. Shockingly, a baby and two dogs mean that the carpets get dirty more quickly than when there are just two adults living in the house. It may sound odd, but it was incredibly therapeutic to clean while music was playing. The OCD part of me is quite satisfied that cleaning occurred, and since I was able to take my time (I had no deadline or anything that *had* to be done today), it was peaceful. Then I watched The Daily Show while eating lunch. I can’t remember the last time I was able to eat lunch by myself and focus on enjoying it. What a small miracle. I ran a couple errands that afternoon, and I wasn’t rushed or frantic. I could weep for happiness at the peace and relaxation that this day off gave me, and the fact that I was so happy about having a day like this to myself just emphasized to me how stressed I had been (breaking into tears the night before was also a clue). There have been many nights in the past few weeks when I had an hour or two at night to try to relax, but I physically was unable to do so. It was like an itch. This day went a long way towards restoring a more positive mental (and therefore physical) state. I still got stuff done (cleaning , errands), but I didn’t have anything that “had” to be done and I was able to be on my own for a bit. As a very introverted person, this solitude was something I had been missing recently.

My happiness matters, and it matters not just for my own sake but for that of my family.

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Looking at these cute lambs gives me a moment of happiness. Hooray for lambs![/caption]

Sources and Further Reading

• Canada, Newswire. “/R E P E A T — Pure-Essence announces the release of the new book The Essence of a Mother. Helping stressed out Moms to discover simple ways to gain more time for themselves./.” Canada Newswire. 05 May 2014: Regional Business News. Web. 15 Oct. 2014.
• Declercq, Eugene, R., et al. “Major Survey Findings Of Listening To Mothers<Sup>SM</Sup> III: New Mothers Speak Out.” Journal Of Perinatal Education 23.1 (2014): 17–24. CINAHL with Full Text. Web. 15 Oct. 2014.
• Jo, Macfarlane. “Babies born to stressed-out mothers cry more, say experts.” Mail on Sunday 07 Sept. 2014: 5. Regional Business News. Web. 15 Oct. 2014.
• Rutgers University. “A wife’s happiness is more crucial than her husband’s in keeping marriage on track.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 12 September 2014. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/09/140912134824.htm>.