Make My Daughter Smarter By: Avoiding Freshwater Ponds

While reading the rest of this, please keep in mind that I am being very hyperbolic and a bit farcical. I’d like to avoid comments from people having read this like I was 100% serious.

Attention parents: keep your kids out of freshwater lakes and ponds! An algae could make your child STUPID!

Well, at least not AS smart. This is a real algae, and there are real effects on the human brain. You can read the science here. The algae was previously believed to have no real effects on humans, so at least to me, that seems to indicate that the effects are slight. But, even a single IQ point is worth fighting for, right? So… to swim or not to swim…

Personally, I’m much more afraid of these (see image). I don’t care if it’s a swimming pool, there’s always a chance!

Science is awesome. And sometimes hilarious. If only you could blame those poor ACT scores on having been forced to go to summer camp or something.