Stand Tall, Read Fiction, & Accept That While Today Might Suck, You’ll Get Through It
Self-doubt can make us question who we are. We can recognize and revel in these lows, accept where we are, and change our mindset with things as simple as how we stand and what we read.
Wallow in the lows
Wallow in the sense of really sinking into it, not pretending to be happy and covering it up. Experience what you need to experience without feeling guilty about it.
Books, movies, and other media give us a chance to experience the world through another’s eyes.
Even if we aren’t as immature and scared of life as the protagonist in Adulthood is a Myth, the comics by Sarah Andersen allow us to recognize a fear and immaturity within ourselves that we may be loathe to acknowledge, at least publicly. Who of us feels truly adult all the time? Don’t you sometimes feel like a child who only looks like an adult?
Accepting that a part of us is afraid or pretending allows us to work through self-doubt. Even going to an extreme lets us recognize where we stop and pull back (“I’m not nearly that bad! I’m definitely capable of talking to people instead of hiding in bed all day. Wait, did I just acknowledge that I’m capable of something?”).
Use body language to change your mental state
In this Ted Talk, one of the things that Amy Cuddy talks about is how using our bodies to take up a lot of space, physically being larger and imposing, can give us a more dominant presence. I tried this just before an important phone call, and you know, it definitely didn’t hurt.
Following the development of characters lets us find our own strength
In the same way that books let us revel in the lows, books and other media also allow us to tap into the strength of another being because we are so intimately invited to experience the world through their perspective.
While I didn’t initially like the protagonist in Geoff Ryman’s The Child Garden, I found her growth as a character invigorating exactly because of that. Adversity challenged her to find her own inner strength, become better than the wimpy punk that she initially seemed to be, and reading about her development and resolve allowed me to mentally shift along with her, tapping into my own reserve of inner calm and steel.
If you only see characters who are calm and collected all of the time, full of superhero strength, how easy is it to identify with them? Instead of seeing perfection, find the flawed characters who may even be a bit despicable or stupid. If they rise to the occasion and become semi-heroic, you may find yourself rising along with them. It’s a bit of the mindset of “if they can do it, surely I can, too. They aren’t better than I am.”
We can’t GO all the time. But sometimes we have to keep going. Somehow.
Some days we are heroes who can take on the world. Other days, we want to pull up the covers and go back to bed. Often, we simply don’t have the option of actually staying in bed. So, how do we get through those days and find recovery? We trick ourselves, express our self-doubts and angst other ways, and revel in the fantasy experience of others in order to become more perfect, at peace beings now.
For the sake of our children and ourselves, read fiction, stand tall, and never stop trying to be the best selves we can be in this moment.
Other good books for a mental escape:
Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen
A young queen assumes the throne in a perilous time. She isn’t beautiful, brilliant, or magical, but she’s just what the kingdom needs.
Angel’s Ink by Jocelynn Drake
Though magically talented, the tattoo artist Gage is a target in a dangerous world. He has a tough exterior but shields the weaker beings around him. A hero in the rough.
by Debbie Macomber
Tired of having been a doormat in her marriage, Nichole is ready for change and for love. More importantly, she’s ready to be independent and love herself. A sweet story about tapping into strength despite the appeal that could come from betraying yourself and settling for something lesser than you want and deserve.
