Standing up for Kindness
A recent article by Debra Monroe brought up the issue of how school volunteers tend to be parents who can afford, in terms of time and/or money, to do so. It seems obvious that you have to be able to afford something, at least time, in order to volunteer, but the way it skews the volunteer makeup can be detrimental to ensuring diversity in the volunteers and the decisions they make. If volunteers are overwhelmingly more affluent, their decisions may be made with their own limitations in mind rather than the much more restricted limitations of poorer parents. This may mean higher fees for participation in sports, like cheerleading, or choices for what foods to serve to children at school functions being things that some children aren’t familiar with, like how to eat sushi or comfort eating such unfamiliar foods.
While I understand the issues that Monroe brings up, I don’t think the answer is to make poorer parents feel bad for not volunteering more, and Monroe certainly sympathizes with poorer parents. As she mentions, poorer parents have to choose sometimes between spending time volunteering or making more money. To a lot of families, that extra bit of money is critical.
I think the answer lies in more affluent parents being more compassionate and making a concerted effort to try to consider the needs and limitations of all children, not just their own. The article sounds like some of the parents Monroe encountered might have been aware of the issues at hand but chose to ignore them in favor of making the school environment more comfortable for them and for their own children rather than for all children. Monroe, though, was aware of the issues, and while it seems like she sometimes voiced her concerns, she doesn’t seem to have always done so, like with the expense of the cheerleading uniforms being passed on to parents with no option of a payment plan. This struck me as very timid. While her intentions were good and still seem to be good by writing the article to draw attention to it, if we silently nod our heads while this kind of behavior continues by more affluent parents, we do no good for ourselves or our children.
We must be kind but stand up for our beliefs and what is right. By first focusing on kindness, we try to put ourselves in others’ shoes and understand what the needs and limitations of others are. This helps us keep in mind the positive environment for the children that as volunteers we’re trying to help create. But, as the second part of this, we must stand up for ourselves and for those who have no voice. If Monroe and others understand the limitations of the poorer parents who do not have the resources to volunteer, I think it is their duty to be their voice and exert effort to make sure that the poorer children are not marginalized. So what if another parent is condescending when Monroe suggested pizza, a food more recognizable and accepted by more of the students than spring rolls? That parent’s opinion is irrelevant; what matters are the children, and by letting those kinds of parents and attitudes steamroll her, Monroe and others are only letting the problem continue.
I emphasize the importance in kindness in life. Practice kindness. Putting it into effect takes practice and consideration, but being kind does not mean becoming a doormat when others have conflicting opinions. Sometimes, being kind might mean picking a fight for the greater good.
