Try Asking More Often — Maybe Win a Book, Too
I often have the mindset that if something isn’t explicitly stated as mine or okay, I assume it’s off limits. You have to pay to eat a dessert rather than it sitting on a tray for you to just take. You don’t open strange, unmarked doors unless invited to do so.
Sometimes it’s expected that you’d need to ask for help, though. If your car breaks down on the side of the road, it’s not abnormal to try to flag down someone to help. If you’re in the hospital, it’s fine to page a nurse to bring you medicines if you’re in pain.
But, those situations arise out of need. You have no options except to accept help or you’re asking help of someone whose job it is to help you in that moment.
Asking for something that isn’t yours and for which you have no dire need isn’t something that I thought very much about as a thing, especially a useful thing I should consider more. Until recently. A significant pleasant encounter got me to considering other experiences.
After writing a review of Max & Charlie by Zack Lieberman, I reached out to the author….
….and he responded.
He responded nicely. This man got an email from me, a stranger he’d never met, and he didn’t laugh and say f* you to my inquiry about whether I might be able to get a copy of his book.
He mailed it to me as soon as he got my address.
Maybe the world doesn’t totally suck, right?
A few years ago I emailed author Olivier Dunrea, and he also responded. I had just asked a few questions. It was a milestone in my mind because growing up, “we” weren’t people who did big things like become authors, go on TV, become politicians, etc. I could engage with authors. I could engage deeply with the world around me. It made things real, and that had a freeing influence on my mind and how I saw the world.
I asked one of the highest women at my company for advice via email, and she took me out to breakfast to talk with me for more than an hour. She’s given me advice several times since then and been a very positive influence in my professional life, and I greatly appreciate her kindness and efforts.
Ask more often. Don’t ask greedily for things just because you may get things. Ask for something that enriches your life and may even enrich the lives of those around you. It works best when you can offer something in return. I asked Zack for a book, which he gave, and I am trying to increase awareness of his book as a result. Hopefully we are doing favors for one another than enrich both our lives. If done well and balanced, we give and take as we each are able. In doing so, we are all richer and sharing in the richness of experience.
I hope to keep myself more open to asking as well as giving as a daily practice. We have so much to gain by engaging positively with one another.
[caption id=”attachment_75622" align=”alignright” width=”300"]
A page from Max & Charlie[/caption]
Now it’s your turn to ask.
If you would like to receive a copy of Max & Charlie by Zack Lieberman, ask me. Send me an email at raisingasmartkid@gmail.com and ask nicely. Include your mailing address (addresses will remain private). I’ll choose a winner in the next month and mail it to you.
You don’t have to do anything else to get the book, but I would love it if the winner was willing to write me a sentence or even a few paragraphs about anything you want. I’d just like to engage with you, and if you’re open to engaging with others by having your comments and story here, I would love to facilitate that.
Have a good weekend, y’all.
