New Meaning of FUN

It is very hard to do it all as a parent. It is especially hard to keep up activities that we used to do as a couple to have fun together. Hikes in Marin. Dancing. Evenings at friends’ homes passed eating, laughing, and contemplating life in Fog City. Partaking in Japantown’s Cherry Blossom Festival.
In spite of this, what’s been surprising, for me, is how easy it is to let go of the ways my husband and I used to have fun before BB’s arrival. Part of the ease might be because at the minute of BB’s birth, we shifted into a new paradigm, one in which she is the center of the world, not each of us. In this new space, doing what your child enjoys is FUN! You feel filled up playing with them; seeing them learn a new skill, giggling, and feeling their cute smiles.
Another reason, and let’s have some real talk here, is that everyone in the family pays a high tax if a little one’s nap schedule is messed up. (Easter egg for soon-to-be-parents: adhering to a nap schedule is essential for a contented child, and thus for your sanity.) For us, Beena Boo still takes two naps and doesn’t sleep in strollers. This means she can’t join for most of our pre-baby fun activities. We learned this, and to let go of our notions of BB being part of our fun pre-baby activities, around her fifth or sixth month. We took her for a hike in Marin County. BB didn’t sleep in her made-for-trails stroller. No. She cried half of the two and a half hour excursion. Exhausted, BB’s dad and I vowed not to take BB out until she was down to one nap a day. We stick to local parks now for our family fun weekend activities.
We’re at a place, where we are asking — how do we balance fun with BB and fun as individuals and a couple separate from our roles as parents?
If you’ve grappled with this question, can you share what works for you with us all here, in the comments and on FB? Your experience will be much appreciated.
In gratitude,
Cecilia

