REAL TALK…my kids lack of effort is not an excuse for my lack of control.

My son wrestled like 💩 yesterday. He was sluggish and lazy, and I was getting frustrated. We woke up at 3am to drive to PA for a dual tournament (he slept on the way). After watching his first three matches, I kept thinking “why the heck did we drive four hours for this?”

Whenever I feel myself getting frustrated I get alone and try to relax. I was texting my wife to explain how irritated I was when a dad and his son stormed over towards me. It was obvious the kid’s last match did not go his way. I over heard the dad ripping his son for his lack of effort. The dude flipped out enough that security came to monitor the situation.

I thought to myself, “Damn man, your kid’s lack of effort is not an excuse for your lack of control.” But then I re-read the texts I sent my wife. If I’m being honest, my texts lacked a level of control as well. So I did what I do. I prayed and asked God for a little wisdom so I could go talk with my son.

Eventually we had a conversation. I decided to do some investigating instead of berating. I asked him why he lacked effort. He explained that he was tired. Long story short, I discovered that he had snuck his iPad into his room and stayed up playing Fortnite until midnight or after (and we left a little after 3am!).

If I had berated him, he would have left the tournament thinking I was mean. Instead, he left with a smile and a valuable lesson. We got a chance to talk about the need for sleep and the reasons I have him go to bed early before tournaments.

We also got to discuss the chain of events that come from poor decisions. He broke the rule and stayed up late playing videos games. This led to him being tired and sluggish which led to him getting beat. The losses led to him wrestling with more anxiety as he was losing confidence. It also led to me questioning his ability and my coaching.

Who knows what will happen next week but wrestling is both a chess match (made of decisions and strategies) and a marathon. Lose too many of these battles and you will inevitably lose the “war.”

Yes, it sucks when our kids effort doesn’t match their ability. Yes, I’m still a little frustrated that we wasted a day in PA. But if he can remember this lesson, did we really waste a day? I’d say it was a win, especially with this pic we snapped after our conversation.