Ramblers
Published in

Ramblers

Dating.

7 Social Media Signs That Scream “Do Not Date Me”.

Get out before it's too late.

Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash

Social media is a wonderful tool; I don’t have it because I’m too busy and prefer connecting with people face-to-face, but social media's fantastic in terms of sussing people out and catching up with your loved ones.

“Social media is changing the world, and we’re all here witnessing it” — Ian Somerhalder.

I don’t date either for many reasons, mainly because I’m not too fond of the thought of sharing my bed, food, company, vehicle, time, and inner thoughts.

I’m writing about social media and dating, two things I don’t do, and in my experience, people who observe from the outside have a great perspective. Well, that’s my excuse for you to continue reading despite my lack of experience on the topic.

One thing I love about social media is how easy people are to read; fake and genuine sticks out like dog’s proverbials. We, humans, are great at saying one thing and meaning another and social media is the perfect tool for expressing these dichotomies and sharing other contradictory information. It’s also good for finding out whether or not you have things in common and making sure you’re not related.

On that note, here’s what I’d watch out for if I were in the dating game:

1. Contradictory information.

Everybody changes their minds now and again, but if someone constantly posts one thing and does another or shares entirely opposing information, they’re going to be even more confusing in real life.

2. Excessive selfies.

Attention-seeking and insecurities can place considerable stress on relationships. People who need extra attention due to their insecurities have personal work to do before they’re ready to commit to a relationship. Even if you are not dating for something long term, insecurities can surface early. Also, a short-term fling could aggravate an insecure person’s self-doubt.

“People with high self-esteem do not get involved in selfie-posting behaviours.” — Roberta Biolcarti et al.

3. Daily public posts.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with people sharing their thoughts, emotions, pains, and gains; I prefer candour. However, needing to post publicly is questionable; whose attention are they trying to attract, and why aren’t they already friends? Also, daily posts suggest the person has too much time on their hands, is possibly not goal-oriented, and has questionable priorities.

4. Follows.

Followers and follows are great for indicating more about a person. Someone who has multiple fake accounts following them is not internet savvy yet spends a lot of time on it, particularly getting spammed. If they’re following people, pages, or groups that go against your values, then don’t even go there; no date is worth sacrificing your principles.

5. Obvious agenda.

You’ve got to love passionate people bringing awareness to good causes, inspiring others, and speaking up for those who can’t, but be careful that their agenda isn’t all-encompassing. You do not want to date someone too preoccupied with their agenda that they have little time or energy for you, or worse, their only reason for dating you is to further their personal, social, or political agenda.

6. Too many likes and followers.

An excessive number of likes and followers suggests too much time on social media. Unless a lot of time online means that they’re making good progress toward a significant goal or that they're making money, it can mean that this person has a social media addiction. Spending too much time online or on your phone causes many problems in relationships, so it makes sense to consider whether or not you could expect to see much of someone who prioritises their online time.

7. Always bragging or dragging.

A bit of bragging and dragging is standard; we should be comfortable sharing our glory days and tribulations with friends and family. Again, be wary of public posters. No matter how much people try to normalise it, a lack of privacy and personal space could spell trouble around self-esteem, trust, honesty, and integrity. Perpetual braggers and draggers require extra time and attention; you can’t fix a lifetime habit; it's up to them.

There is so much on social media that does not match up to logic, reason, or fact, and society is still developing social media norms. Imagine the progress we would make if we spent as much time working on our resumes and real lives as we do on social media.

When it comes to searching for love, you’ll want to distinguish the real from the fake. Here are some signs to watch out for:

I wonder what someone with experience dating would say about social media and the process of finding love?

These stories about dating caught my eye in the last month:

Thank you for reading.

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Write Mind Matters

Write Mind Matters

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BA(psych), GradDipArtsPsy(student), DipHlthSc(NatNut)|Parenting, personality disorders & trauma.