I don’t want to go outside today
I don’t want to see the shining sun or play
I’ve got too many videos to stream
Or maybe I’ll start the next viral meme.
The sun’s too hot on my pale skin
The wind hurts too so let’s stay in
There are so many video games to play
I don’t want to go out no matter what you say.
Running makes me tired
I’m allergic to the grass
This couch is just so cozy
A perfect cradle for my…
I can ride the clouds of Azeroth
And catch Pokémon from my bed
How do you expect me to go outside
When my butt’s been filled with lead.