Birthdays

On the 30th of May I look into a mirror and

see a reflection of my future self staring back

I am afraid

Afraid of what might change and

What might not

There is a hole in my heart

Deep mourning for those who have left and

Who are sorely missed

They’ve done nothing wrong

The clock simply hit 12, it has to, eventually

But nothing’s really gone till it’s forgotten and your body never forgets

The memory of your souls etched into it

The ticking of the grandfather’s clock echoes across the night sky

I count the seconds down with bitter anticipation

5

4

3

2

As the ringing bells announce the arrival of a new beginning

My reflection lurches out of its prison and swallows me whole

I look back into the mirror and see them

The 14th and the 13th and the 12th

Like Russian dolls, all stacked up nicely

For when you’re 15, were you not all the other ages you’ve been before?

Do all your previous incarnations not live inside of you?