Humor, Relationships
Tinder & COVID-19; Swiping Right in a Pandemic
It’s more of a disappointment than usual but one I just can’t shake
I have had an on-again/off-again relationship with the dating app, Tinder, for years. We’d be going hot and heavy for a while, then I’d delete it because; I met someone, my matches didn’t go anywhere, or I was bored with it. Not long later, I’d reactivate it because a relationship ended, or I was lonely and horny. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the whole world on lockdown, Tinder became my primary source of interaction.
High Hopes
When I tried Tinder again while on lockdown, I thought people worried about contracting COVID-19 would be more willing to have a conversation. Instead of starting every conversation with DTF or unsolicited eggplant pictures, I was sure to get queries about what my passions and goals were — right?
Yeah. That didn’t happen.
It turned out that even in a pandemic with tens of thousands of lives lost in the U.S. alone, boys would be boys.
I got a message from a new match at 3 am asking if I wanted to come over. Then a guy asked, “Why are you bisexual? Do you have any threesome fantasies you can explain to me?”
On the Bright Side
While most of my conversations ended with a prompt unmatching, they weren’t all bad. I had a few good discussions with guys and even exchanged numbers with a couple of them. The conversations eventually died down as we realized our interests didn’t line up.
I had a fantastic conversation with one particular guy — the kind I always hoped to have. We had a lot in common and talked about our dreams as well as life’s big mysteries. And then suddenly, he stopped responding altogether.
On the flip side of things, there have also been a few guys that did make an effort and cared about holding up their end of the conversation, yet, I was the uninterested one. What can I say? To me, 24 hours into a new friendship is too early for good morning texts!
Ghosted and Ghosting
Though I saw it happen with friends all the time, I never thought about myself being the perpetrator. I found it ironic that the same people fought hard to make something work when the other didn’t think twice about them — then they switched positions, becoming the one ghosted and forgotten.
I didn’t want to be that way. Wasn’t a quick rejection better than letting someone who liked me wait — and worse, hope? Yet, when I’d only just started talking to someone, it didn’t feel right to tell them I wasn’t interested. I felt like it made me sound conceited.
The Single Life
I always imagined meeting my future partner in a coffee shop or a bookstore — hipster vibes, I know — but with coronavirus continuing to be a genuine threat, options are limited. Yes, I could live my “best life” and stay single. The truth is, I have been single much longer than this pandemic has been happening.
I’m ready to find something more substantial — more real. But where could we hang out?
Coffee used to be the go-to friendly meet-up, but they are all closed. Could the grocery store be the new COVID-friendly “coffee shop”? Maybe I’ll ask the next person I’m interested in to meet me in the produce section!
For now, I’ll keep finding entertainment in the only form of socializing I get these days — mindlessly swiping.
