Never meet your heroes

‘Pinggg!’ The laptop’s standard e-mail notification sound brought Cherie out of her usual pondering pose. She clicked on the notification, shifted her reading glasses from her forehead to rest on the bridge of her nose, and began reading.

“To: cherie@askcherie.com

Subject: My life has been a lie.

Dear Cherie,

I was devoted to a spiritual guru with millions of YouTube subscribers. While volunteering at my guru’s ashram with the hope of finding myself, I overheard him speak condescendingly to someone and threatened to kill him if he didn’t sign. I was completely taken aback. No longer did his words seem so wise or compassionate. In fact, they seemed entirely the opposite of what a spiritual leader should be saying. I fled without telling anyone.

A newspaper recently reported that the trustees, including my guru, are fighting for ownership of the ashram following the death of its chief. The conflict has progressed to the point where it has been referred to the courts. I can now make sense of what that threat was all about.

He was my god, and his teaching was my religion. I no longer understand the world, and I feel a lack of God’s existence, as if my entire life had been a lie. I’m sure you are laughing by now, but I can’t focus on anything. These thoughts are racing through my head. I want to get out of this situation. Please help!

- Betrayed Soul”

Cherie sighed, then smiled gently. “Been there, done that!” said the smile. She paused, looked out of the window of her room, and wondered whether she should respond to the new message nonchalantly. Still smiling, she started typing.

“Dear Betrayed Soul,

Never meet your heroes!

First, understand that everything is fine and that there is nothing to laugh about in it. Second, nobody, absolutely nobody, understands the world in its entirety. What they know is their interpretation of the world. When was the last time you were very certain that this is how the world works?

I am not sure at what stage you are in your life, but why do you even need a guru in the first place? To find yourself? How will another person be able to let You know that You have found Yourself? You are the best judge. And who exactly qualifies as a guru? Donning a robe and explaining verses from ancient texts? A guru is just like you or me. In the same way that we wear a uniform to school and educate ourselves by studying say, science or economics, they wear robes and study yogic literature. There is nothing to be mesmerised by. I have no doubt you can also become a spiritual guru if you thoroughly study those texts and are a confident public speaker. If he does not walk the talk, he is just a good orator, not a guru. These so-called demigods shape religion and God to their advantage. Understand that spirituality is intended to uplift your spirit, not to sell it.

They may claim that they are free of jealousy, anger, and other vices. But they stay in their massive ashrams, where volunteers are available to assist them at the clap of hands. When you are not competing with the rest of the world, it is easier to be free of jealousy and anger. Otherwise, honk at them in traffic, step on their foot, and all the ancient texts will be undone in two or three cuss words.

You can only find yourself while you are in the society by observing yourself. The way you react to situations and words, what angers and stresses you out, what makes you smile. How many of the volunteers you met at the Ashram said they had found themselves? How many of them had become “enlightened?” These gurus require volunteers and their hard-earned money to keep their ashrams and egos operating, and they attract them in the name of “spiritual experience by being close to nature.” They mislead their followers into believing that their path is the ultimate path and the only way to find peace, as if peace is something that could be purchased from a store. Another spiritual guru was recently arrested from his ashram on extortion and drug trafficking charges, igniting a rage amongst his followers, who then took to the streets and vandalised public property. What kind of spiritual experience is this?

I hate to break it to you but, he is, after all, a human being with his own set of virtues and vices. Accept it. You will be halfway through, once you accept it. Consider it as an error of judgment, and do what the Earth does. Move on!

You don’t need a mystical person to tell you what to do, all you have to do is to make an effort. Effort separates freedom from fear. It’s great to have idols to look up to for inspiration, but idolising someone is not a very good idea. Consider life as the TV show Roadies, each situation is a task that needs to be completed to move ahead. No matter how difficult the task is, complete it, then move on to the next task, then another one. When you complete enough tasks, there will come a stage when you will have a sense of satisfaction. Satisfaction of having faced life’s challenges with grace, of giving your best in each situation regardless of the result. Rather than expecting something from life, understand what life wants from you.

The truth is, most people don’t know what they’re meant to do with their lives, so if you don’t know either, that’s fine. Determining what you want to do can be a difficult process, and it can take a lot of time and thought, however, it is a blessing in disguise because it allows you to experiment. It is something that everyone figures out differently. What you need to do is, begin. You and your life are custom-made, there is no one-size-fits-all.

Everyone is broken to some extent or another. Everyone, without an exception. What matters, however, is the weight we assign to the damage. Do we allow the weight to be too much for us to bear?

Pause, reflect, and take charge of your life. There is no freedom without responsibility. I know my words are harsh, but I mean well. Lead your life, rather than simply living it.

Love,

Cherie!”

Cherie clicked the send button, sighed, stretched her hands, and resumed her pondering pose.

Note: Image are designed by the author.