When two elephants fight, it is the grass that gets trampled
The African proverb “When two elephants fight, it is the grass that gets trampled” nearly sums up the situation in any fight for dominance, any battle for supremacy. It is the grass that suffers the most in a fight between two elephants of the same kind, both powerful and mighty. The grass is the one who must take the brunt of the battle. Neither party is in the mood to submit as the struggle progresses. Rather, neither of them is in a position to give in. Similarly, in a power battle between two persons who are equally powerful, it is their subordinates who must bear the weight of the conflict.
Disagreements and Disease are not the same thing, but they have the same consequence. Internal forces are not aligned in disease, and external forces are not aligned in disagreements. Both of these eventually lead to stress.
People take disagreements personally, especially in corporates. That person is not disagreeing with you; he is disagreeing with the concept you have. However, because you took it personally, you will disagree with that other person’s suggestion the next time, and now that other person will take it personally and reject your idea again. This is a never-ending cycle.
There is usually a HOD in every company. He is the “Head of Disputes.” He becomes enraged over trivial stuff, and his team must send an e-mail expressing HOD’s rage. It will generate end-less trail emails with a CC to needless but hierarchically important persons just for their “information”, to demonstrate how “beautifully” I get upset, that I am always correct, that I care more about “The Company” than you do, and that all of this is for the “betterment” of the company.
The pressure of the tussle falls on the subordinates. Hours of teamwork, team development, and leadership training are wasted. Only the “I” succeeds. In actuality, though, they are only feeding their egos that are larger than their pot bellies. They’re just attempting to find a solution to the question, “How dare he disagree with me?” or “How can he turn me down?”
On the face, nobody is outraged, but there is a cold war. A cold war whose “heat” the subordinates must bear, and they have no choice but to do so. It’s part of their unspoken job description.
There doesn’t appear to be a solution till a company is governed by “people” rather than “processes.” There are temporary remedies, but no long-term solutions. If the other person disagrees, go on and try to find a solution. Stop debating and simply accept and move on if you are unable to find a solution or a middle ground. Nothing is more important than your peace of mind. After all, you have a job. Do your work and then leave. Unless the work contradicts your value systems and ethics, do it, learn, and apply your ideology to your “future job.” Period. Love your job, not your employer. Disagreements will exist as long as there are interpersonal relationships. What you do about the conflicts is what matters. So, do you disagree? Smile, try to find a middle ground. Still not okay? Accept, learn, and move forward.
