[26/26] Zero
This story is part of the A-Z challenge that I’m doing.
Zero is a beautiful number. Not because it is round and cute (that could be an argument for it nevertheless) but because what it signifies. It marks the beginning of something. It marks the lowest something, or someone can go. It is the ultimate foundation to build anything upon.
Over last several years, I’ve started several things from scratch and have failed at many (thus going back to zero), and I’ve realized there’s nothing more liberating than being at zero because the only way from zero is upwards. A very good friend once told me, “Don’t worry if you’ve failed. Rockets that touch the sky always launch from the ground.”
As J K Rowling, one of my favorite authors says, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
While zero is liberating, thrilling and exciting, it sometimes also is daunting and overwhelming. Sometimes, I have found myself afraid to do something because I was comfortable being at zero and the task to go from zero to one seemed unnerving. This challenge of writing twenty-six stories was one such adventure. I remember it was the first of April when I decided to pen down a story for each letter of the alphabet. I was afraid if I was unknowingly planning to fool myself on April 1st.
I had no clue what to write even for the first letter of the alphabet. I was afraid I’d ruin twenty-six stories if I begin writing them just for the sake of writing.
What gave me the courage to take up the challenge was to lower the expectations that I’d have from these stories. My purpose was not to write twenty-six bestseller stories. Mine was to make it a habit of writing every day. Some days everything that came out of my pen was garbage, and on a few days, I loved what my hands typed on the blank paper. And today, with this last story, I am back at zero — a solid foundation for the next adventure.
Writing has become my daily habit, and I can remember to write even without my calendar sending me a reminder. I am curious what could I make out of this habit. Shall I start another writing adventure? Will it be a similar series? Will be a novel (long due now)? Or something different altogether?
Whatever it’d be, I guess I’ll be little less nervous to begin whatever comes next. I am at zero again, and the only way to go from here is upwards. Realizing that there’ll be one less thing in my daily routine, I feel a particular kind of guilt. It’s the kind of guilt that you feel when you have an ice-cream without telling your younger sibling about it. You kind of like it that you had the ice-cream but also feel guilty for hiding it from them.
On the new adventure, whatever it’d be, it’s time to buy an ice-cream for them this time.
