Will you share this?

Every day I get at least one email asking me to share an article, event, or cause with my online community. Most of the time, the asker has done some research and the request is relevant to my community and my interests. Though I find these cold emails a bit weird and reactive, I don’t mind helping good people with good ideas or causes. That said, I do find it strange when a stranger asks me to jump through hoops to help him.

I know there are a lot of you out there who get similar requests and I bet you wish it was easier to say “Yes!”

Make the give really easy.

You know what the easiest thing for me to do is? Copy and paste. Suggested posts go a long way to help people share your information. Sure, I can write my own post but when you draft something for me you’re telling me you want this to be an easy, pleasant experience.

I recently got into a discussion about this during a recent #bufferchat on Twitter:

Make it hard to say no if your ask is relevant.

Don’t wait until you need something to introduce yourself.

There are a lot of interesting, smart, cool people in this world. If you’re always waiting until you need one of them to do something for you then you’ll be playing catch up for a very long time.

If you’re trying to get the word out for your event, cause, project, whatever, do yourself a favour and do some advanced research. Is this always possible? Of course not. But if you do your best to plan ahead you’ll be able to achieve much more.

Not in promotion mode? Great. Time to be in social mode (and I don’t just mean social media). Be a good member of your community. Talk to people. Go to events. Attend Twitter chats. Find local Facebook groups to join. Literally be a member of your community. You’ll be amazed by the friends you meet. Put the effort in to find out about people and learn new things.

Start thinking of all people as friends.

A relationship is a two-way street. Friends talk. Whether it’s on Twitter, Facebook, email, text message, on the phone, or in person, there is an ongoing dialogue. This dialogue is the backbone of any relationship.

I’ve started approaching all relationships as friendships. That isn’t to say I give my account manager at the bank a hug when we have a meeting. What I mean is, think about how you treat people very carefully.

Would you send that harsh email to your friend? How about your mom? This approach puts your actions into perspective.

Think about sending that “Can you help me” email after putting it through the friend filter. Are you polite? Have you made it easy to participate? Are you talking to the right person? I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see someone put a little bit of effort into asking for a favour.

Also, being nice is so much more fun than being a dick. That’s just a cold hard fact. ☺

Sidebar: Hat tip to the folks at Buffer for setting the bar high for being cool people online and offline. I try to learn from their example.

Don’t forget about your friends.

Who likes to be forgotten? Whether you’ve made a new friend or need to catch up with a lifelong one, don’t be forgetful. Being asked for a favour then never hearing from that person again makes me feel used. Am I just a Twitter account or LinkedIn profile to you? Often times the answer to that question is yes, which stinks!

I’m so much more than my online reach or my social life, just like you. I have hobbies and skills that we might have in common. You like to cook? So do I! Craft beer enthusiast? I’d love a recommendation! (This actually happened today.)

Don’t forget about those who have helped you get to where you are. Whether it’s through a share to networks farther-reaching than yours or an event volunteer, follow up and long-term relationship building is a sound investment.

Say thank you.

Speaking of follow up, did you say thank you once your ask was fulfilled? For every ten people who ask me to help them out, I might only get one thank you. I’m not in it for the praise, I mean I’ve already done it. Saying thank you is like a cherry on top. It’s the polite thing that our parents and teachers taught us to do when we were kids.

I haven’t done the exact math but I’m estimating that I’m about 157% more likely to give you a favour if you’ve thanked me for the first one.

TL;DR

If you’re asking for a favour, to a stranger or an old friend, do yourself a favour and be polite, generous, and acknowledge what you’re asking for. Make it super easy and don’t waste anyone’s time.

P.S.

Hi to my new internet friends @vincenzolandino and @Dubblebee.