Taking Mom and Dad to a Gay Cowboy Romance in Bush Country
In January 2006, I drove over 50 miles in the snow with my parents to find a theater that was playing Brokeback Mountain. It was a defining moment during a messy period in my identity development; a period that I only recently have become willing to talk about.
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In the story of my life thus far, my identity as a gay man is divided into three time periods.
There is the period from birth to age 19, where I knew I was “different” but didn’t know what made me so. I was teased for being friends with the girls instead of the boys, for loving pop music over video games, and for picking academics and drama club over sports. I was extremely uncomfortable around my male peers, which I chalked up to the biologically-driven longing to be accepted. During this period, my internal world was mostly a secret; a fortress that was not penetrated by anyone, no matter how loving and supportive. This period is easy to talk about because I was an innocent at the time; a young kid confused by his identity and the victim of a world that was heteronormative at best, homophobic at worst.
Then there is the period from age 25 to the present. This period began when I met my now husband, a man whose clear and uncomplicated love for me ushered in years of growing self-compassion, self-esteem, and…
