Unlimited Exercise? We have just the ticket — by Philip Allan

Last Sunday, the nation geared up to watch our grandmaster and commander, (no, not you Chris) derpy Boris, deliver what many thought would be the beginning of the end for lockdown. Instead, we were given a message that can only be read when using a mirror, during a harvest moon, every other Monday.

Once deciphered, the message is now ‘unlimited amounts of outdoor exercise!’. OOoo, AAaah.

So! To embrace the new, here are some ideas to get you up off your desk chair/sofa/bed/floor/roof and upping that heart rate:

• Running — endlessly! Be it 2, 5 or 10k, experience perpetual joy in the simple act of throwing one leg in front of the other at speed.
• Walking — endlessly! A slower version of the above, but no less a joyful experience!
• Remember that imaginary friend you had as a child? Bring them back for a good old-fashioned game of Hide & Seek. Think about it, you could be searching for days!
• For those looking for a more relaxing approach to a workout, what better a time than to practice the ancient and mysterious art form known a Mime. “Sure, Mr Policeman, I’ll go home, just as soon as I get out this glass box”.
• Perhaps you have a partner who wants in on the unlimited outdoor action? Why not dress them up as a rhino and have them chase you whilst you carry a replica of Jumanji. For extra authenticity, try blearing menacing drum music from your iPhone as you go.
• Finally, take inspiration from Katness Everdeen, and all the fun and frolics she had in the Hunger Games. Simply go to the park, dodge everyone you see while manically screaming “Peeta!?”, then find a tree to hide in until dark.

Phew! I’m exhausted. Hopefully you feel suitably pumped up and ready to get out there and exercise, unburdened by limitation!

Stay safe you lovely bunch.