My Butterfly

By Erin Woods

Edited by: Callie Rowland, Aniria Williams, Es Say, and David McConico

My Butterfly,

Your mere presence spawns a feeling of zeal I didn’t know I could experience. Our diminutive conversations and exchange of printed dialogue accelerates my mood and heartbeat but why? What is it about YOU? Is it the way you conduct yourself? Or is it my corrupted perception of infatuation,
generating oxytocin after every time you speak? My body reeks of eagerness, eagerly aching to make you mine but holding off for the right time, waiting for the distinct sign. I know it’s too early, I know I should wait but you’re so great you make my heartache, I hold back my words in fear of saying too much,
wanting every word I relay to you to be perfect and true, I could talk about you all day if it wasn’t for my on instinct habit of shying away. You read this and know who you are…My butterfly 🦋

I’ve Fallen

I didn’t know how much I fell until I allowed myself to break my own heart to make sure you never left. Not realizing I may have pushed you away. Scared you from the visuals of my care. My feelings for you were like a blank stare, clear and straight forward. The bone in my back could not insure these feelings I was feeling were healthy but I knew what I felt for you was brand new.

Yes, It’s true.

Your simple presence, your beautiful smile is all I see when I close my eyes but is it just a disguise. Is this all a joke, a dreadful joke to shatter my heart I may never know…but if it is I just may choke. Choke on the tears of heartbreak. Listening to the sound of my heartache. My heart shattered again by me blindly giving in. Or maybe I must be overreacting. My minds’ sea attacking with unusual thoughts, untrue scenarios.

It’s too late there I go.

There I go falling, falling for the tone of your voice. Falling for the vibe, not being able to decide if I’m willing to get hurt on this ride. I’m the problem. I’m the reason I’m hurt, I’m the reason I can’t trust and my mere heart is just a speck of dust and with one gust of trust it becomes a cycle of unjust towards my heart. My heartbreak and I fall apart. Coulda prevented it at the start but I wasn’t smart. Or had I already fell? Too blinded by protecting the beauty inside to protect…me.

Your Touch

I wish for our fingertips to meet. I wish she was my soulmate, I never want her to leave my side. I’d do anything for my butterfly. But I know In 200+ days my heart may shatter and beat a different beat. Is this temporary affection? Or is this meant to be? Do I trigger my optimism now or later after my heart is
split into three. Will you still see me? Or will you forget me? All I want is you but is all you want me?

I am me, you and me

I confessed to my mom, let some weight off my shoulders. Looking in your eyes I can feel so much bolder. Expressing my care without judgment to bare. I always knew you’d always be there. Your soft beautiful skin I was miles from touching. My innocence so severe, the mere thought of holding your
hands erupted butterflies in my stomach. We weren’t traditional to another’s blind eye but I would spend every day with you like I was on break during the holidays. Today, tomorrow, and every day…

I wonder if you're happy. I think about the words I say. I think about the future I want, wondering if it clashes with yours.

Did we want the same thing?

To escape our regular life and feel the love we would…once share. Do we share the same amount of care? Did you have the same goals as me to finally
be free? To look at me like the world was ending and I was the last person you’d ever see.

To run the world just you and me…

Sincerely,

Me

Erin Woods (16) grew up and continues to grow up as a quiet, calm, and shy child. Her main focus in her early elementary years was to fit in and be cool with who was seen as important around that time. She valued everyone’s opinions and looked down at herself for not being able to be that standard. All throughout her elementary school years, Erin got picked on and bothered about how skinny she was and how ugly the other kids felt she was and it really messed with her self esteem and worth. It drained Erin of any true happiness. Erin trained her emotions and pain into writing. Connecting herself and her feelings to that of her fictional characters. Subconsciously connecting her own self discovery into the characters development. Though her writing journey started off of Magcon fan fictions and inappropriate thoughts, Erin’s craft grew into more sophisticated literature, or at least that’s what the people around her describe it as. Erin being a very emotional person has really aided in her depth and imagination when writing her storylines. Writing seemed to help her with her confidence and set a plan for her life she never thought she would ever get the chance to have.