What to do when you’ve screwed up too many times…
People say that making mistakes is the best way to learn and understand a little more about this complex thing we call life, but what if you’ve made too many errors in the same place?
Just imagine for a moment that you are an employee at a company, and you have screwed up all the tasks you’ve been ordered for the last week. Would you be fired? I can assure you that more than 95% of the time you would be let go. But that is no big problem right? You can always go out and find a new job, start all over again, and prevent the same mistakes from happening again.
That was a very simple example, however imagine the same situation with a person you love instead of a job. You haven’t failed at any task, but you have not been the person you’re supposed to be with her; instead of screwing up things for a week, you have screwed things for a whole year. And you have not been fired: you have been forgotten, and that person doesn’t appreciate you anymore.
In this scenario it’s not that easy to find a solution. You can’t just go and look for another person you love (when that happens, you’ll have no say on it). In addition, to make things even worse, human relationships are different from one another. Thus you will never find someone who makes you feel EXACTLY the same as she did.
Right now I find myself in that situation. I did one mistake after another for a whole year with the same person (who I love). And now that I realized that, it seems like it’s just too late.
I can’t explain how I opened my eyes about all the things I was doing, it just happened. And when I took all that stuff in, it felt like I was falling from a huge waterfall. I didn’t know what to do, and I got really scared.
After taking this blow to the face, I decided to do something that many people could think is stupid. I will do everything in my power to make things right with her again. I don’t know how much time it will take me, but I’ll manage to do it. Perhaps some of you are now wondering: “how are you going to do it? She doesn’t care for you anymore.” The answer for this question is really simple, just be myself again. Don’t try to force things on her, or ask her if she still cares about me. Just be authentic, honest, and understanding.
That is how everything began. I didn’t intend to fall in love like this at the beginning, yet it happened.
I once heard “Love appears before all the reasons”, I have found that to be quite true. We do not fall in love because we want to, it just happens. So I will be the most patient and tenacious version of myself, and I’m confident that things will work out someday. Just like a song from a Mexican group says: “The story will go on, I know life is not that cruel…”